Strangers by the Surf- An Ethan Dolan Fanfiction
by AlaskanJimin
Summary: Viola Richards is having one of the worst days of her life far away from family in Los Angeles. Meeting Ethan Dolan and getting wrapped up in his crazy world of surf, youtube, and fangirls was the last thing she expected from her first year of college- though it may be the best thing that ever happened to her. But will it all be too much or exactly what she has been waiting for?
1. New Beginnings

Strangers by the Surf

Chapter One- New Beginnings

Rain in Los Angeles was a rare sight to see. I am still not sure why it happened to rain on that day at the perfect time but I think the rain saved my life that day. No- it wasn't the rain. It was Ethan Dolan that saved my life that day. I just didn't know it yet. But I thank the rain for him. I thank the rain and the sky above for bringing us together. But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning.

My name is Viola Richards. I am eighteen years old and currently living in Los Angeles attending UCLA. You could say I am a "normal" girl. I work at Nordstrom at The Grove on weekends and spend my weekdays going to school and hanging out with friends between classes. Most people would call me shy but I like to use the word introverted. It's not that I don't like talking to people, I just don't like talking to people all the time. I like to read, sing, skate, and eat cheesy fries. I hope to change the world someday. Or at least leave the world a little happier and a little more positive than before. For now, that means majoring in English and becoming a teacher. But who knows? I am only a freshman after all.

It all began on a Saturday morning. My shift at Nordstrom was early that day. I was glad, I hated working in the afternoon and having none of the day left to do what I wanted. The forecast showed no hint of rain or even clouds, so I dressed in my usual work outfit and left my jacket on the coatrack as I walked out the door. The drive to work took a little longer than usual since there was construction on the highway, but I made it on time. I hated being late. All in all, it was a fairly typical day at work- I greeted customers, checked prices, cashiered a bit and tidied the clothes.

About two hours into my shift, I felt my phone ringing in my pocket nonstop. That never happened to me so I glanced at the caller ID. It said Mom. That was never a good sign. My mom wouldn't call me while I was at work unless it was really important. I walked over to my boss, Liza.

"Liza. I am so sorry but my Mom keeps calling me and I don't think she would unless it was really important, can I step away and call her back really quick?" I asked.

She checked to make sure there were no customers waiting to be helped and then replied, "Sure thing, Viola, just try to be as fast as you can."

"Thank you so much. I'll be right back." Now the nerves were really starting to set in. Maybe I was worrying too much. I tended to over think things. I dialed my mom's number and waited for her to pick up. _It's probably nothing,_ I thought. She picked up after the third ring.

"Hey sweetie." She said in that soft, comforting voice moms use before they break really bad news.

"Hey Mom. Is everything okay? You called like six times, I am in the middle of a shift." I sat down on a nearby bench, bracing for her next words.

"Sweetie, your friend Michael passed away today. I wish there was a better way to say it but there isn't really a way around it so I thought I would come right out with it. I'm so sorry." I felt all my thoughts freeze in midair, as if every second passing was a century. _Dead? How could he be dead? He was only eighteen, like me._

"Michael? Like Michael Peters Michael? Like my high school best friend Michael? H-how?" I could feel the tears and the breakdown coming now. My thoughts were no longer frozen; they were reeling around in my head, going a million miles an hour.

"He- he was," My mom was struggling to keep it together now. "He was hit by a drunk driver, sweetie. Sweetie, how about we talk more about it once you have a little time to process? Go ask your manager to get off early and I will call you a little later, okay? If you need to talk sooner, I will be here."

"Okay" was all I could manage.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, Mom." My heart felt like it was in my stomach. A few tears escaped my eyes, but I tried to hold back the hysteria until I got to my car. Luckily, my boss let me go since it was a slow morning anyway. Once I got to my car, I stayed there and cried for nearly an hour before I could even handle driving. I got a few odd looks but I didn't care. All I cared about was that my friend was dead and I didn't even get to say goodbye.

I had known Michael since I was six years old. The only reason I went to a different college than him was because I got better scholarships from UCLA. But we were supposed to be friends forever. Now we couldn't be anymore. All because of a drunk driver. He was so young. Why him? He has always been kind to people and gone out his way to help others. Michael was a great friend who stood by me through everything. Who was going to stand by me through everything now?

Now you might be thinking Michael and I were more than friends, but that was never the case. I was never that girl who went to her girlfriend's house and did face masks and manicures. Sure, I enjoy those things, but I wouldn't describe myself as a girly girl. I did those things on my own time. I preferred hanging out with Michael. We could go skating and get cheese fries on a friday night and I never felt weird taking off my makeup when we went to his house to watch a movie. In fact, whenever I was around other guys it was weird not feeling comfortable being totally myself since I spent my whole life best friends with a guy.

I also felt weird around girls sometimes. Michael never cared if my lips were chapped or my eyebrows needed to be plucked. Girls always noticed though. I was incredibly lucky to have a friend like Michael. I could tell him anything or say nothing at all and he would understand what I needed. I texted him last night and he was already gone. It was late and I was thinking about graduation night.

"Hey remember when I tripped on my robe at graduation in front of the whole school?" I texted him.

"Haha, yeah, why? How's LA?" He replied.

"LA is… hot. I dunno. I miss that. We had so much fun that night. Even though we didn't go to after grad or any parties because I was too embarrassed. I miss hanging out with you. LA would be so much more fun with you. :( Please come save me. I suck at making friends."

"Aw Vi :( I'm sorry. I promise I'll visit soon. I've been saving up. I'll hitchhike if I have to."

"You better. Eating cheese fries alone is way less fun than eating cheese fries with someone else."

"I promise. Hang in there." I guess that promise wouldn't come true.

As soon as I was calm enough, I drove home and got changed. I don't even remember what I was wearing, I was in such a trance. After a couple more hours curled on my bed crying and reminiscing, I couldn't summon any more tears. Somehow, that was worse. If I was crying, at least I felt something. Now I felt nothing. Also I was ravenous. I felt like I could eat everything in my house plus the silverware, but I didn't have the motivation to cook and was tired of looking at my gray and white walls. Looking back, I probably looked psycho with my mismatched clothes and puffy eyes but I went to Chipotle and got the biggest burrito I had ever seen in my life. I ate it in about eight minutes flat and left to head home.

The late afternoon sun beginning to sink below the horizon struck me, though. and I turned around to take a walk on Santa Monica Beach. My feet carried me almost hypnotically to the waves, where I sat, feeling the swells engulf me and then retreat, reflecting the brilliant oranges and reds of the sunset. It was the first time since my Mom called that I felt any sense of calm. I was sad, but I couldn't help thinking how much Michael would have loved the sunset. I sat there until the air had grown cold. But something still kept me anchored to my little spot in the waves.

I didn't notice that the clouds had moved in above me, I was too enamored by the sunset and the sea. In fact, it took me a moment to even realize when little droplets of water were falling on my head. _Rain. In Los Angeles. Maybe it was Michael sending me a sign. The feeling I had about the beach, the sunset, and now this? There had to be a reason I turned around._ "Thank you, Michael. I'm sure gonna miss you." I said.

I started to get up to head back to my car before the rain made me too cold, but as I turned, someone ran right into me, causing me to lose balance and fall over. Just what I needed.

"I am so sorry! I didn't even see you, my surfboard must have blocked my vision." I sat up to see an incredibly handsome teenage guy with brown hair and the most entrancing brown eyes. His body was toned and muscular underneath his wetsuit. I shook my head, trying not to stare at him too long.

"It's okay, I didn't see you either." I realized how terrible I must look and blushed a little, trying not to make eye contact.

"Let me help you up." He said, offering his hand. I took his hand, which made me blush more, accentuating my swollen eyes and puffy red nose. His smile was warm. I only wish I had met him at a better time. He seemed really nice.

"Thanks. I-uh. I better go." All the commotion made me want to cry again. I started to walk away as the tears fell, but not before he called out to me. _Please don't ask if I'm okay._

"Hey, hold on, you dropped your phone!" He called to me. _Of course._

"Thanks," I said, trying to hide my tears as I took it from his hands. Another kid ran up to him as I took my phone and looked me straight in the eyes. He had a kind smile too. Unfortunately, I didn't have the heart to return it. On second glance, they looked really similar. They had different hair, one in a tall quiff and the other more shaggy with a red streak through it, but they must be twins. Their faces were nearly identical and they looked the same age.

The second guy with the quiff looked at me and asked. "Are you okay?" _Please don't blubber out your answer, please just keep it together._

I couldn't keep it together, and just shook my head while I let out more tears. I sniffled. "I-it's been a… a very long day. I got some bad news is all. I'll be okay." I felt like an idiot even though they were just being kind.

The shaggy haired boy gave me a reassuring smile and the boy with the quiff walked forward to give me a hug. It really did make me feel better. They were total strangers but I had needed a hug all day. I hugged him back and wiped my tears. "Thank you. You two are so nice, you don't even know me."

"Nobody deserves to be sad, especially alone." The shaggy haired one said. He came over and gave me a hug too. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head.

"I don't think I am ready yet. And you guys have done enough. Thank you, really. I just think I better get home. I need to give my mom another call anyway." I forced a smile that didn't reach my eyes.

"Well good luck with whatever it is you're going through. I hope you feel better." The one with the quiff said. I smiled and started to walk away, but I realized I wanted to know the names of the boys who helped me. Just in case.

"Hey, wait! What are your names?" I asked them.

The one with the quiff spoke up. "My name's Grayson. And this is my brother, Ethan." Ethan smiled a little wider than Grayson. "What's your name?"

"Viola" I replied with one more quick smile to the boys. They helped me more than they knew. _Maybe I could thank them better someday_ , I thought. _And I hope I get to see Ethan again._ Then I walked to my car and headed home just as the sun finished setting in the distance.


	2. The Grove

Chapter Two- The Grove

When I woke up the next day, I was relieved to find that my boss had given me the day off to process everything before returning to my classes on Monday. This time, I made a little more effort to look presentable. After showering I already felt more like myself. I dried my hair and pulled it into a bun. A couple weeks ago, I had dyed the ends of my brown locks sea green, but it was already starting to fade. I called my makeup good enough after a little foundation and mascara. It was so hot that I would probably just sweat it off anyway. Besides, I didn't feel like impressing anyone today. All I wanted was to cover up a little of the puffy redness that was left from yesterday.

I threw on my comfiest jean shorts and a plain black t-shirt with my converse and grabbed my skateboard on my way out the door. For a while, I just rode around, people watching and enjoying the warm summer breeze. However, after a while I realized I had forgotten to eat breakfast in my daze and my stomach was growling. _I'll just go eat something at The Grove. It's probably good for me to be around people. As much as I dread it, human interaction is good for me._ I took a sharp left turn on the next block and headed toward the popular mall.

I really did love LA. As much as I wanted to be with my family right now, it was an amazing place. I decided on a pretzel for lunch and an iced coffee to renew my energy, then found a nice place to sit and observe the humdrum around me. My heart still felt heavy, but I was glad I wasn't home alone feeling sorry for myself. Michael would have wanted me to get out and make new friends. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out to see my mom's face on the screen. _Crap. I forgot to call her last night. I hope she isn't freaking out._ I answered it on the next ring.

"Hey Mom. I'm so sorry, I got home and just passed out last night."

"Oh, good. I was worried. Are you doing okay? Make sure you're eating. And maybe go for a walk, it's always so much worse when you're cooped up inside. Is there a friend you can hang out with?"

"Mom, I'm okay. I'm processing. I'm heartbroken. But I am eating right now and I decided to go sit at The Grove to get my mind off of it for a while. No, not really. I have some acquaintances from school I hang out with sometimes, but I don't know them well enough to tell them this sort of thing."

"Sweetie, do you want to come home? Can you manage a break from your classes right now?"

"Not really, no. It's the very start of the semester, if I get behind now, I will never catch back up. I'll be okay, I promise. I'll make friends. Or try." I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts. " I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Right now I just need some time."

"Alright, Vi. Call me if you change your mind." She hung up the line and I went back to my food. Once I was finished with that, I stood and started making my way back out to the street. I wanted to ride my skateboard, but the walkway was too crowded and I didn't want to run people over. Instead, I took my time and looked around at the people passing me by. What was happening in all of their lives? Were they as hurt as I was, or was this the best day of their lives?

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw a boy with shaggy brown hair that had a red streak. _Ethan._ I wondered if he would even notice me. He was flanked by his brother Grayson and another boy I didn't recognize. They were walking quickly in the other direction past a large group of teenage girls. Wait- or were the teenage girls following them? On second glance, the teenage girls were chattering excitedly as they followed the twins around The Grove. The two boys were never rude to the girls, talking to them, taking pictures and returning hugs but you could tell how overwhelming it was for them to be followed by so many girls at once.

 _Who were these guys? Had I run into famous twins without even knowing?I'm only eighteen but apparently I am not up on my celebrity news._ I turned on my phone and typed "Ethan and Grayson" into the Google search engine. Millions of results popped up. Ethan and Grayson Dolan were world famous Youtube stars. I checked their channel. It had over four million subscribers, and all of their social media feeds had millions of followers. My jaw dropped. These guys _were_ famous. They even had teen choice awards.

I laughed a little to myself. They were really nice last night but there was no way a guy as famous as Ethan would actually like me. Here I was hoping I had a chance. Of course not. He was absolutely gorgeous. I like who I am and what I look like but I am no model. All of the girls following him and his brother were gorgeous. Toned, tan, and their makeup was done perfectly. I decided to shrug it off. Maybe that rain wasn't a sign from Michael. That was stupid of me.

The crowd had cleared up now, so I boarded the rest of the way out of The Grove and towards home. It was probably time to get some homework done. Before I could get far though, I saw Ethan and Grayson leaving out the back of one of the shops. I almost kept boarding away, but I figured I would never get a chance to thank them the way I wanted to again. After all, they seemed pretty famous. Who knew when I would see them again?

As I approached them, they clearly thought I was another fan. They looked a little tired but still friendly. I was impressed by how well they treated their fans even though it was overwhelming. I stepped off my skateboard as I got closer though, and a flash of recognition hit their faces. Ethan smiled at me again. I couldn't help but smile back. Dang, this kid was cute.

"Ethan, Grayson! Hey, hold up a sec." I called to them. They turned around and came toward me.

"Hey, Viola. You look better today. I hope you feel better too." Grayson said.

"Yeah, looks like some sleep did you good. How are you?" Ethan asked, a little shyly.

"I'm alright. I'm working through it but the fresh air helps. Hey, I-uh. I wanted to thank you." They looked a little surprised. " I am no good at talking to strangers or explaining how I feel, but I really appreciate you going out of your way to be nice to me last night. It meant more than you can know. I got some really horrible news yesterday. One of my best friends passed away and I am here for college so I have no family and hardly any friends yet. You guys kept me from totally losing it. So-uh. Yeah. Thank you." They were both quiet for a second and then Grayson smiled wide.

"Of course! You really looked like you needed a hug is all." Grayson said. He had the best smile. I smiled back.

"Anyway, I'll let you slip away before your crowd of fangirls comes back." I joked. They both blushed and looked a little embarrassed.

"I wouldn't really say fangirls…." Ethan said. "Wait, do you know who we are?"

"I didn't last night. But when I saw your fleet of fans I googled your names and saw how famous you are. I had no idea. I felt stupid, actually for not knowing." I gave a sheepish smile and scratched the back of my head. Grayson and Ethan laughed before they replied.

"You don't have to feel stupid at all. We're just normal guys. I don't feel like we're famous, we just happen to have fans who watch our videos is all." Ethan said. I smiled, but couldn't think of a reply. They were so attractive, it really was intimidating. Ethan looked a little nervous as he looked to Grayson, who smiled and urged him on.

"So, you seem really cool. Do you think I could get your number?" Ethan asked. My heart skipped a beat. _Wait. Look at him. He's perfect- too perfect. He's probably just asking for my number to make sure I am okay. I must have looked crazy last night. They just don't want it on their conscience if I am depressed with no friends._ My face dropped a little.

"I'm really going to be okay. You don't need to like check up on me or anything. You guys have millions of fans to take care of, and you don't even know me. It is nice though, so thank you." I tried to tell them that they had no obligation to me.

"I am not asking for your number because I feel like I have to. I want to. Actually, I would love if you'd go on a date with me sometime." I blushed. How did I get this lucky? For a moment, I didn't even feel sad.

"Uhm- wow. Okay. I would like that." I gave him my number and hugged them both before hopping back on my skateboard and heading home. _Ethan Dolan just asked for my number._ It took all of my strength not to squeal before I was out of their hearing range.

I returned home to a very messy house and copious amounts of homework. It would keep my mind off of both Ethan and Michael for a while, so I was almost glad. Almost. Cleaning didn't take long, my apartment was very small, but the homework took me late into the night. I finally checked the clock when I was finished and it was nearly two in the morning. It would be a long Monday. Underneath the time, I had a text notification from an unknown number. I smiled.

"Hey Viola, it's Ethan. Still up for hanging out sometime?" It read. _Hanging out? Had he changed his mind about a date or was he just trying to be casual?_

"Hey sorry, I was studying. Yeah, what did you have in mind?" I typed. I checked about three times for typos before sending. The first text was crucial. I sat waiting for a few minutes before I decided I better get ready for bed. If he didn't reply before I was done, it would have to wait. I needed some sleep before classes. Luckily, he replied as I was brushing my hair.

"Surf and sushi?" He asked with a cute little smiley.

"I've actually never surfed before…. It's not so popular back where I'm from. But I'm up for trying if watching me wipe out sounds fun to you." _God, I sound so lame. But I guess even if you are asked out by a cute, talented, famous guy you should be yourself. There's no point dating someone who doesn't like the real you even if you think they're your dream guy._ I finished getting ready for bed and waited for his response.

"I'm a good teacher" he said with a winky face. I giggled.

"Speaking of teachers… I better sleep so I don't fall asleep in class tomorrow. Night, Ethan" I said. I turned out my light and slept for several hours until my dreams took a turn for the worse. Michael and I were in the car, singing along to the radio. We had no destination, just the night sky and the open road. We laughed at nothing and everything like we always used to. The road was empty for a while and we hit nothing but green lights. The feeling between us gradually grew more tense, however and I began to sweat in my sleep.

The air in the car began to grew cold and I could feel the sadness radiating from Michael. I wanted to reach out to him or tell him to pull over but all I could do was stare ahead and sing along to the now melancholy songs on the radio. Headlights emerged in the distance. They wavered back and forth. The driver was obviously drunk and out of control. I wanted to scream or warn Michael but he didn't see me. My eyes flew open just as the drunk driver veered into our lane.

My breath was rapid and unsteady, my forehead soaked in a thin layer of sweat. Tears ran down my cheeks. _How could he die like that?_ I had never been that disturbed by a dream in my life before. There was no way I was falling back asleep for a while. I picked up my phone and typed "Dolan Twins" into youtube. I didn't know where to start. I clicked on the video called "Where Am I? CHALLENGE" first. These guys were hilarious and crazy. Obviously they weren't only twins, they were best friends.

I kept clicking on recommended videos for hours on end, not realizing how much time was passing. I totally forgot about my nightmare. Before I knew it, it was eight in the morning and my alarm was going off for me to get ready for class. I rolled over, exasperated. _Class really is gonna suck._ I was tired, but I regretted nothing. Their videos were hilarious. At least I had more of them to look forward to after school. Maybe Ethan would text me again too. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all.


	3. Impromptu Pizza

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket halfway through Geology and all I could think about for the rest class was whether it was Ethan or not. This was going to be a long week. I had hardly talked to this boy at all and he was already driving me crazy. I was glad I had class and homework. If I didn't I would be too anxious to keep myself from replying immediately. I had to keep him waiting at least a little bit. Otherwise it would be too easy for him. Maybe he would actually think I had a life this way.

With that said, the second I left the classroom, I pulled out my phone and smiled wide as I saw it was from him. I bit my lip as I read the text. "Please tell me you're free this weekend" he said. Yeah, it would be hard to wipe this smile off of my face now.

"How's Friday? I don't have any classes after Thursday." I typed.

"Pick you up at five?" He asked.

"I'll be waiting." I replied with a winky face. I think Friday was going to be my new favorite day.

When I got home I got right on my homework. I figured I should get it all done early so I wouldn't have to worry about any of Friday's deadlines before he picked me up. Since the semester was just beginning it didn't take me nearly as long as I anticipated. I even got a head start on some of the reading for my English class. Afterwards, I found myself sitting alone thinking about Michael again. Maybe I really did need some time back home. I felt like I was the only person in the world affected by his death. I dialed my Mom's number, but it went to voicemail.

"Hey Mom. It's Vi. You probably already knew that from caller ID, so I don't know why I said that. I suck at leaving voicemails. Anyway, I thought about your proposition. It would be nice to come home for Michael's funeral. I could spare a weekend. It's next Saturday, right? I would love to be there. Call me back when you get this. Love you. Bye." I sighed when I hung up. I actually hoped she would pick up. I could use a good talk.

Instead, I pulled up YouTube on my phone again and spent the rest of my evening watching the rest of the Dolan Twins' videos. I got up to make some more of my favorite tea, earl grey, as the sun began to set. The view was too beautiful to pass up, so I took my mug and slippers out to my porch and watched the sky grow darker. Michael would have loved this sunset too. I wondered if Ethan could see this sunset. Did he think it was as beautiful as I did?

As cute as I thought he was, I really hoped he was as great as he seemed. He had been nothing but nice, but there was no telling if we were actually well suited. Or maybe he would be put out when he saw how horrendous my surfing skills were. Or maybe it would be perfect and we would kiss and laugh and have a wonderful time. That was the risk of dating. You might meet your best friend or fake smile your way through a night of awkward conversation and uncomfortable clothes. I couldn't wait.

The next day was a blur. I had three classes on Tuesday: Math, English, and Anthropology. There was tons of homework to get done and stuff to review before class. By the end of my classes,  
I was tired but happy to be out in the sun. I grabbed a latte from the campus coffee shop and boarded down to the beach. It was way too nice to go back to my apartment.

The sand between my toes felt amazing. The waves were great for surfing, so the beach was littered with people in wetsuits and families with boogie boards and bags filled with sunscreen and towels. I scoured the waves for Ethan and Grayson but I saw neither of them. I guess that would have been too much of a coincidence. Maybe they avoided big crowds with potential fans like this. I spoke too soon.

When I reached the end of the beach, I saw two familiar twins heading back up the beach to their stuff piled on the sand. They didn't see me approach until I was a few feet away. "Are you two following me, or do you just happen to go surfing whenever I am at the beach"

They looked up, a little startled. They both smiled wide. "Wouldn't you be the one following us? We were here first." Grayson said with his signature smile. I laughed.

"Are you sure? I might've been here for hours without you knowing." I said, raising one of my eyebrows playfully.

"Touché" Ethan said. "So are you just hanging out, or do you still have classes?"

"I am done with classes for today, I just didn't want to sit at home."

"Well, we were gonna grab some food if you want to come with us" Ethan offered.

"Sure, I haven't eaten since breakfast. And I am pretty sure history lasted about as long as the Civil War today." They both laughed and finished gathering their things.

"Awesome!" Grayson said. "Pizza, anyone?"

"Uhm, yes please." I said. We all headed up to the parking lot, where we climbed into Grayson's Ford Bronco. "So I checked out some of your videos last night. You guys are seriously hilarious. Your videos really show how much work you put into them."

"Aw, thank you. That's so nice." Grayson said. "We actually posted one today, since it's Tuesday."

"Really? Well I'll have to check it out when I get home. If it's any good, then maybe, _just maybe_ , we can hang out again sometime." _Please understand my sarcasm, please understand my sarcasm_ I silently prayed. Luckily, they both laughed.

"Glad to know you value our company so much." Ethan said.

"Hey, I can't be seen hanging out with just anybody." I said. "But you two seem cool so far, so I'll give it a shot."

"Haha, well at least give us some warning if we no longer live up to your expectations." Grayson said.

"Will do." I said with a smile. The rest of the way to the restaurant, we listened to music and chatted between songs. Or at least until Maroon 5 came on the radio and I couldn't help but sing along. The two twins went silent, which made me self conscious so I stopped singing.

"No, don't stop, you're so good!" Grayson exclaimed.

"Yeah, you have a really pretty voice" Ethan chimed in. I blushed.

"Thank you, that's nice of you." I said, a little shyly. _Now is a good time to be brave. You can't live your life being afraid to be yourself and show off what you can do._ So I continued singing. I almost never sang around people because I got too nervous, but I was tired of living my life in fear. I sang my heart out to Maroon 5 with the Dolan Twins. They even sang along with me after a little bit. I was glad they brought out this side of me. It felt good to just go for it. Still, I was grateful when we made it to the pizzeria so I could take a break from branching out for a little bit.

"We'll have a large pineapple pizza please. And what kind of pizza do you want, Viola?" I thought for a moment.

"I'll have a small margherita pizza please. With extra basil." I smiled at the lady behind the counter and tried to pay for mine, but Ethan held up his hand and wouldn't let me. "Thank you" I said. He just smiled down at me. My goodness he was charming.

We all sat down at a table together and waited for our pizza to come. I could hear their stomachs gurgling. "So how old are you guys, anyway? Are you from LA?"

"We're seventeen" Ethan said. "No, we're actually from New Jersey but once our YouTube channel started taking off, we decided to move out to LA and pursue it full time."

"Wow, that must have been scary. It was scary enough moving here on my own for college, let alone to try to make it in a new industry at what, sixteen?"

"It was scary at first, sure. But we have each other and lots of friends in the YouTube community who did a similar thing and we all stuck together." Ethan said. "So you're here for college, where are you from?"

"I was born in Utah, but I grew up in a small town called Soldotna in Alaska. It's a little different from LA to say the least." I said.

"You're from Alaska?!" They both said in unison, then we all laughed. "It's a twin thing" They continued.

"Yeah, it was an amazing place to live. You're always surrounded by nature. There's no other place like it." I said. Ethan paused for a moment, then pressed on with his next question.

"About the other day when we met- are you okay? What happened? It seemed pretty serious and I have been wondering ever since." He looked at me with a kind smile.

I sighed before I answered. I knew this was coming sometime. "Well- it was pretty serious actua-" but I cut myself off as the waitress came with our pizza. She was obviously a fan of theirs. Her excited smile said it all.

"Can I get a picture with you guys? I have been a fan for so long, I love you guys so much." She giggled nervously.

"Sure" Grayson said with a laugh. They stood up and took a few photos with her. She thanked them and began to walk away before she turned back.

"Who is that girl?" She asked. You could tell she didn't like me but she didn't even know me. Ethan stepped forward a little protectively. Grayson followed suit.

"She's just a friend. We met her on the beach a few days ago." Grayson said with a smile. Ethan was a little more tense. The girl smiled, shrugged and then walked away.

"Sorry about that, you were saying?" Ethan asked as he sat back down and grabbed a slice of pizza.

"Eh, I'll tell you some other time." I said with a light smile. _That was weird._ The smile didn't quite reach my eyes, but I snapped back to my good mood quickly. We talked about filming videos, Alaska, New Jersey, and family as we ate our pizza.

"Do you want a ride home?" Grayson asked when we were all done.

"Actually, my apartment is just a few blocks away. I can just ride my skateboard. Thanks, though. And thanks for the pizza. I'll see you Friday, Ethan." I smiled and stood up. Grayson waved as he pulled away. Ethan smiled, but I could tell he was still annoyed about something that happened with the fan. I hoped it wasn't something I caused. When I got home, I put on The Office but fell asleep halfway through the episode.


	4. I Make a Fool of Myself on a Surfboard

Wednesday and Thursday went by like a flash. I focused on school and unpacked the boxes I had left from moving. My apartment was beginning to feel like a home. My mom called me back and we planned my flights back for Michael's funeral the next weekend. I would need to go find an outfit for his funeral. I owned plenty of black clothes and some nice dresses, but I wanted this outfit to be extra special. I owed Michael that much. I had also agreed to sing a song at his funeral. I was little rusty but I could practice this week enough to plunk out a few chords on the piano and sing along. All I had to do was keep it together through one song. I could do that, right?

Friday morning I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. It had been a little while since I had gone on a date. Three years, to be exact. I didn't even take a date to prom. Michael and I just went as friends. Sure, a couple guys asked me to go but my last breakup was so horrible I was scared to try again. _Breathe._ This was only a first date, not a marriage. Even if I messed it all up, it wouldn't matter. Sure, Ethan would be hard to get over, but it was possible. _I can do this. Just be yourself, everyone else is taken._

We were going surfing, so I didn't need to dress up. That was a relief. I was never very good at dressy. I hated uncomfortable clothes, no matter how good they looked. I pulled out my favorite bikini: high waisted with a sturdy top. It was a simple plain blue, but I wasn't going for sexy or flashy. Besides, I didn't want it to fall off while I was surfing. THAT would be quite the first date story. Over my bikini I wore dark blue crop top and a gray maxi skirt. I left my faded green and brown hair down in its natural not-quite-straight, not-quite-wavy state. I skipped makeup all together. There was too much risk to smear it while surfing, even with waterproof makeup.

I checked my phone for the time after I was finished getting ready. It said 8:46 in the morning. Great. Now I only had to wait until 5 p.m. with all these butterflies to hang out with Ethan. If I didn't find something to focus on I would be an anxious nutball by the time he picked me up. But what to do? First, I decided to send Ethan a text. We hadn't talked since we got pizza on Tuesday, so it was probably best to make sure we were still on for five.

"Morning Ethan. Hope we're still on for five, I'm excited to catch some waves. Or watch you catch some waves as I lay on my board and try not to fall off." I hit send even though it sounded lame to me. Now was a good time to find and practice a song for the funeral then go shopping for an outfit. Actually, I decided to shop first so I would be home for sure when Ethan picked me up. The shops I wanted to look at were all the way across town, so I ordered an Uber to take me instead of riding my skateboard.

It took me a few hours to get across town, find an outfit, and get back, so most of my morning was busy with that. I found a very simple black dress with a white trim going across the waist. I also bought some blue velvet heels since blue was Michael's favorite color. I hung the dress in my closet so it wouldn't wrinkle and put the shoes away, still in their box. Next, I set up my keyboard in the living room and began thinking of songs that I could sing.

At first I thought I would sing some one of the typical funeral songs like Ave Maria or Hallelujah, but none of those songs seemed good enough for Michael. He deserved a song as special as he was. I thought of all the songs he loved and all the songs that were special to us. None seemed to fit until I remembered this one beautiful country song that came on in the middle of the night on the radio once. We were driving home from a ski vacation over Christmas break. It was around one in the morning and we couldn't get a signal from any radio stations except country. We made fun of all the songs until this one beautiful ballad came on. Maybe it was our tiredness or the atmosphere of the open road and Christmastime, but we were both in awe.

Thinking back, though, I didn't even know the artist or name of the song. To find it, I had to type the few lyrics I remembered into google to find it. It was "Light of a Clear Blue Morning" by Dolly Parton. It was perfect. Time flew by for hours as I rehearsed it on the piano and memorized the lyrics. _I hope Michael can hear me up there,_ I thought. I was lost in the music when my phone buzzed.

"You underestimate my teaching skills." Ethan typed. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes" _Crap. I lost track of time._ I quickly unplugged and packed away my keyboard. I looked in the mirror and fixed my hair. Then I grabbed my phone and purse and waited for Ethan to show up. _Be yourself. There's no reason to be nervous. Take a deep breath._

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. _Here I go. First date in three years. And it's with one of the hottest guys I have ever met- let alone he's famous. But no pressure. No. Don't psych yourself out. You have lots to offer whether he sees it or not. Your worth is not based upon one boy, no matter how special he is. Do not repeat the past. Okay._ With that, I opened the door.

He looked amazing, even in casual shorts and a t-shirt. He smirked as he looked at me, making my knees weak. "You look beautiful" he said. I still couldn't believe he asked me out.

"Not as beautiful as you" I said sarcastically. He laughed as we walked to his car. _Thank God he actually laughed at my joke. Maybe this will actually work out._ "I'm really glad you asked me out, by the way. I don't mean to sound cheesy but it meant a lot to me when you were so nice on the beach. And ever since, I wanted to get to know you." I said. I hoped I didn't come off too strong.

"Ever since I saw you on the beach, there was something about you I couldn't stop thinking about" he admitted. "I want to know everything about you." I bit my lip and smiled.

"We'll see how you feel after you see my surf. You may change your mind." I laughed. I was right. In fact, I was even worse at surfing than I thought. After a couple hours of Ethan teaching me to surf, I only stood up all the way three times and swallowed enough salt water to make me sick. I had to go throw up in the bathroom and drink tons of regular water to recover. I didn't tell Ethan I actually threw up, of course, but he knew I felt a little queasy.

I was impressed by how patient he was, though. He really was a great teacher. In my defense, he was incredibly distracting. It was hard to focus with him holding my hand or looking like a pro athlete in his swimsuit. There were several moments I really wanted to kiss him, but it wasn't the right time. Dinner afterwards was even better than the surfing. He took me to an incredible sushi restaurant and we talked the whole time. It all felt natural with him.

"I hope it doesn't bother you that I keep asking, but now that we have no interruptions, what happened the other night when we met on the beach?" He asked. I figured I owed it to him to tell him. And honestly, I didn't have anyone else in LA to talk to. If nothing else, it would be nice to have a friend here.

"Back home, I had one best friend my whole life. His name is Michael. Was Michael. He- he was hit and killed by a drunk driver that day. My Mom called me while I was at work that day to tell me. I didn't know where to go, so I was just driving home when I saw the sunset at the beach. Something about it just compelled me so I pulled over and sat in the waves. I almost had a complete melt down when you and Grayson found me." I held back the tears that were forming. This restaurant wasn't the place. He thought for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"Wow- I had no idea it was that serious. I am so sorry you have been going through all that alone. I am here to talk if you ever need." he smiled.

"Thank you. I may take you up on that. His funeral is next weekend, and I will be flying home for it. I may need another hug before I go. Anyway- this is a date. Let's focus on something more positive. What made you and Grayson choose to do YouTube?"

"Well we started out on vine. Once that started to die out, we started a YouTube channel. It all started as just a creative outlet recommended by one of our friends. We made videos just for fun. People started to really enjoy our content, though, and we gained a couple million subscribers. And honestly, life back in New Jersey wasn't so great in high school because of our videos. We didn't have many friends and people bullied Grayson and I all the time about our stuff. It got old and we wanted to start fresh and be part of a positive community. So we moved out to LA and committed to YouTube. It's all history from there."

"I love that. I think it's amazing when people take chances for what they are passionate about. And you guys are so good to your fans. You spread so much positivity on your channel and all your social medias. I wish when I was growing up I had role models like you. Luckily, I am in a good place and I know who I am. I don't worry about what others think of me and I know what I want now, but it took me a long time to love myself. In fact, for a long time I had major struggles with confidence that were caused by what other people said. All your fans are lucky to have you." Ethan's eyes lit up. I could tell nothing made him happier than making his fans happy and spreading positivity. He genuinely wanted to make the world a better place.

"That truly means so much. Grayson and I just want to make videos that make people's days a little better. Nothing makes me happier than making people laugh and creating friendships." It was amazing getting to see him talk about what he was passionate about.

"I totally agree. All I have ever wanted to do it help other people in some capacity. I am not sure exactly what I want to do yet, but I don't want to just work nine to five, buy a house, have a family and call it good. All of those things are in my future, but I want to do more. I want to make a difference and leave the world with a little more good in it than it had before." I said. Ethan beamed.

"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "And have tons of fun along the way. There's no point to life if you aren't enjoying it." I nodded in agreement and ate some more sushi. We finished up our meal and waited for the check. I was sad that our date was coming to a close. That was the most fun I had had in a while.

"I've had a lot of fun today." I said, blushing a little. "Even when I drank about a gallon of ocean water on accident. Ethan laughed again.

"Yeah, I still feel bad about that part. You really do suck at surfing. But you'll pick it up, don't worry." He teased.

"Only with your careful guidance, that is." I retorted. We sat silently for a moment.

"Well it's getting pretty late- do you want to go home?" He asked. _Not really._

"Actually, I am not feeling tired yet. Are you up for some Mario Kart?" I asked.

"Are you kidding?! I'm down. Prepare to be crushed." Ethan challenged, smirking at me.

"You're on. Don't underestimate me, though. I may suck at surfing, but I am one hell of a drifter. Only a blue shell could save you once you challenge me." I flirted. Ethan laughed.

"We shall see about that." He paid for the food and we got in his car to go to his apartment.

He held my hand on the way inside. I blushed. He smiled when he noticed how pink my face was. When we got inside, Grayson was on the couch eating popcorn, scrolling through his phone. He looked up.

"Hey there, you lovebirds. I'm guessing the date went well." He raised an eyebrow suggestively. Ethan glared.

"He beat me at surfing but I am about to take him down in Mario Kart." I said. Grayson laughed.

"I don't know about that. As much as I hate to admit it- and I REALLY hate to admit this- but he always beats me at Mario Kart. Good luck." He picked up his popcorn and left to go to his bedroom and give us space. Before we sat, Ethan looked at me and furrowed his brows.

"Your clothes are still damp from surfing. Are you cold? Do you want some dry clothes?" He asked.

"I'm a little chilly" I admitted. He disappeared to his bedroom for a couple minutes and came back wearing sweats and a hoodie. _He looked incredible even like that, how was that fair?_ He handed me a stack of dry clothes and directed me to their bathroom where I changed and pulled up my hair. The clothes were way too big for me, but so soft and comfortable I didn't even care. He smiled when I came back.

"You look cute in my clothes" he admitted with a smile. I smiled and sat down beside him. I could feel him right next to me. My heart beat a little faster just being this close to him. _Focus,_ I told myself. I promised to win and I had to deliver. And I did. I whooped Ethan Dolan's butt at Mario Kart and he was shocked.

"Hah!" I shouted. "Told ya." I stuck my tongue out at him after I came in first three out of four races. He rolled his eyes.

"I went easy on you." He was obviously very competitive. That was okay. He would get over it. I smiled at him and he smiled back. This time was different, though. Our eyes stayed locked a little longer than the others. I leaned a little closer and so did he. Before I could think, he pulled me close and planted a tender kiss on my lips. My heart beat uncontrollably. I melted into him and we kissed again. And again. For the next few minutes, I could have sworn I was in heaven. Eventually, we broke apart and smiled as we looked at one another.

"If that's how you react when I beat you at Mario Kart, then please let me win again." I said, my face red. He laughed and then leaned in for one more kiss. It was slow and sweet. "Thank you." I said. He looked confused.

"Thank you for what?" He asked.

"For coming up to me on the beach and taking a chance." I said softly. "It feels so natural to be with you."

"You're welcome." He whispered, then pulled me into his side so I was leaning against him. We just sat on his couch cuddling for a little while, until we both began to feel sleepy and decided I better get home before we fell asleep. On the car ride home, we sang along to the radio together. It reminded me of Michael. I didn't feel sad, though. It made me happy. I knew that if Michael could see me, he would be happy too. Ethan walked me to my door.

"Tonight was amazing. I hope we do it again sometime." I said.

"Oh, we will. I don't know how long I can wait to see you again." He kissed me again and gave me a big hug. "And thank you for opening up to me. I had fun. I am here if you need to talk. I'll text you tomorrow. Sleep well." He kissed me on the cheek and walked to his car. I went to bed with a smile on my face. I couldn't wait to text him tomorrow.


	5. I'm Given an Opportunity

I woke up feeling amazing on Saturday morning. Last night I had the most amazing date with the most amazing guy. The sun was shining outside my window and I had slept so well, I didn't feel tired at all. How could life get better? I hopped into a quick shower and dressed in black jeans and a light pink blouse with bell sleeves. It had been a few days since I did anything with my hair, so I curled it into nice ringlets, then combed it out so it had big, girly waves. To finish the outfit, I pulled on some simple brown sandals with small heels and a bow on top.

Ready to head out, I grabbed a bag filled with school books and my laptop. Last, I grabbed my phone from the charger. Something was wrong. Very, very wrong. My screen was cluttered with notifications from Instagram and Twitter. I tried scrolling through them, but the list seemed endless. What was going on?!

I opened my phone and opened Twitter to find thousands of new followers and mentions. I began to panic. Scrolling through, I found the source of the issue: a single, blurry photo of me sitting with Grayson and Ethan the night we went out for pizza. _Shit._ _How did they find my profiles from that? It's such a blurry photo. That waitress must have taken it._ There were kind and unkind comments about me in equal measure.

Comments varied from "What an ugly slut, why would they hang out with her?" to "Guys, the twins have their own lives. And we don't even know this girl or their relationship, let's stay positive. That's what the twins would want." The anxiety immediately began to well up in my chest. I had never seen so many mean things about me in my life. It was hard to focus on the positive with so much negativity available. I broke down and cried as I kept scrolling. _How could people hate me so much without even knowing me?_ I threw my phone across the room, wiped my tears and left the apartment.

I considered going back for it in case Ethan texted me, but I knew I would keep looking at all those comments if I did. I ran as fast as I could away from my apartment, not even paying attention to where I was going. Somehow, I found myself at the La Brea Tar Pits Museum. I had never been, and nobody would think to look for me here. The entry fee wasn't too bad, so I found myself walking among the bones of mammoths. It was a fantastic distraction. I got lost in the world of giant creatures and natural wonders.

I almost wished I could go back in time and walk among those magnificent creatures. There was no internet with which you could make snap judgements about people and then post about it. There was far less of a chance to get hurt back then. Granted, the humans alive while Mammoths were roaming around weren't thinking of much but hunting, gathering and surviving. That didn't sound so bad to me right now. The panicked feeling subsided after a while of reading plaques throughout the museum, but the tight anxiety in my chest remained. I felt like everyone was watching me, like they all hated me.

Giving up college and heading home seemed pretty nice in that moment. How could a boy who made me so happy also bring so much misery into my life? Did he deal with this all the time? Did he know this would happen? Was I strong enough for this? I always thought I was, but I didn't know this time.

I let my anxiety win out after a while and headed home. Despite my best effort, I had to read what people were saying about me and see if Ethan texted me. Did he defend me on twitter? Would he deny that we went on a date? Was he ever going to tell his fans at all? I burst through my door and ran straight to my phone. No new text messages. Nearly a thousand new notifications. I turned notifications off on my phone and clicked back on twitter.

Neither Ethan nor Grayson had tweeted anything. Maybe they hadn't noticed? _No, that was stupid. Of course they noticed, this was everywhere. They just didn't say anything. I should have known this was too good to be true. I just want to call Michael._ I needed his advice. Instead, I called my mom. Luckily, she answered this time.

"Mom?" I said through my tears.

"Oh, sweetie, what's wrong?" She asked. I spent the next twenty minutes explaining everything that had happened, including meeting Ethan and going on the perfect date with him last night. "Mom, I want to come home. I can email my professors today, but I can't be here right now. Can I come home for the week and go to Michael's funeral and then come back? I feel like my chest is going to burst. I can't handle all this."

"Of course, sweetie. I will call the airline right now and call you back when I get it figured out. Make some food if you can eat and just stay home for a bit. Try to stay off your phone, but if you can't, at least don't reply to anything right now. It's the heat of the moment. You may regret it."

"Thanks, Mom. I love you." I hung up the phone and continued scrolling through twitter. All of the hate comments began to blur together. _Why didn't Ethan defend me?_ I closed the app and listened to music instead. The soft melodies lead me to close my eyes and sing along quietly. It was all I could do to stay calm. I felt sad more than anything. And a little guilty. As much as my feelings were hurt, I felt bad that all these girls were hurting too. I hadn't realized what I was getting into when I ran into Ethan. I wished I had never gone to the beach that day. But that sunset was so beautiful. I would have regretted missing it.

I jolted upright when I heard a knock on my door. Ethan was one of the only people who knew where I lived. I wasn't sure I wanted to see him. I made such an effort to look nice today, but now my hair was all tangled and my face was red from tears. Anger welled up in my chest. Why hadn't he warned me this would happen? He didn't even bother to defend me and now he just showed up at my apartment? I stomped over to the door and pulled it open.

His face showed genuine hurt and concern. Before I could say anything angry, he stepped inside and pulled me into and hug, shutting the door with his foot. I was going to pull away, but something stopped me. I softened in his arms and began to cry as he held me tight. It wasn't his fault that his fans reacted that way and I knew it. I couldn't blame him for his own fame.

"I'm so sorry" he said. "I had no idea that waitress took your picture. I read a bunch of the things people said to you and I just felt sick. Grayson woke me up to show me. Please forgive me. I didn't know this would happen." He said. I pulled back a little to look at him and just nodded. I didn't feel like talking quite yet, so I just kissed him. He seemed surprised, but kissed me back.

"It's not your fault. You aren't responsible for what your fans say. I should have realized that this was possible when I agreed to a date with you. I knew you were famous." I said quietly. All the crying had made me voice hoarse. "Can you hold on a minute?" I asked. He nodded, taking a seat on my couch. I called my mom and told her I would stay here this week and fly out on friday as planned. She told me she hadn't called the airline yet in case I changed my mind. She knew me too well. I walked back out to the living room and saw him scrolling through his phone.

I sat next to him and did the same. "I just wasn't expecting it."I admitted. "I have never experienced anything like this. I usually lay low." I said.

"I know. I hoped you wouldn't ever have to deal with this. I should have been more careful. Or just been honest with my fans. But we hadn't even gone on one date, I didn't want to say anything unless it went somewhere. If you don't want this, you don't have to be with me. I hope you know that. I had a lot of fun last night, but I completely understand if this is all too much." he wouldn't look at me as he talked.

"At first, I wasn't sure could handle it. I am still not sure I can handle it. But I want to try." He looked up at me. "I think you're amazing, Ethan. I've never met anyone like you and I like who I am when I am with you. I want to try." He smiled and pulled me close next to him.

"I knew you were special." He said. Then he kissed me again. I forgot all the anxiety and hurt while we kissed. I didn't know how much time had passed when we finally broke apart, but it lasted for a while. I felt like he had cast a spell on me. I couldn't get enough of him.

"Now that wasn't a bad distraction." I said. "Distract me some more." He smirked at me. This time he lifted me off the couch and carried me to my bed. After setting me down, he pulled his shirt off, revealing his toned biceps and incredible abs. Before I could even catch my breath he laid down next to me and kissed me even more passionately than before. _Is this even real?_ I asked myself. I slowly placed my nervous hands on his chest as we kissed and felt his body heat against mine. I didn't even care that my hair was messed up now. He could mess it up any day of the week.

Even in his passion, he managed to be gentle with me and he always asked before he continued or tried something new. I never wanted to stop kissing him. I ran my fingers through his hair and tried to memorize the strong movements of his body. We didn't go all the way, though I wanted to. It wasn't the right time yet. Instead we just kissed and felt each other's bodies. After, we we just lay in my bed and held each other as we rested. It had been a long morning. A nap in Ethan's arms was exactly was I needed. I felt safe with him.

Around noon, we got out of my bed and decided to get some food to take to the warehouse. Ethan texted Grayson to see what he wanted to eat. We decided to pick up sandwiches and salads at Whole Foods, then drove the warehouse to eat. I was excited to see the legendary warehouse. It was much bigger than it looked on camera. "This. Is. Amazing." I said, my mouth open wide.

Grayson emerged from the editing room and laughed. "Pretty cool, huh?" Then he turned serious for a moment. "Hey, I'm really sorry about all that stuff on twitter this morning. This is why Ethan and I are always worried about dating. It kinda sucks for our potential girlfriends and our fans."

"It's a lot to handle."I said. "But I want to try. Maybe the fans will get used it. Besides, how else am I going to hang out at a warehouse like this?" I joked. They laughed.

"Oh, so you're just in it for the warehouse? I see how it is." Ethan replied. I gave an exaggerated, cheesy smile and then ran up the stairs and into the foam pit. Ethan and Grayson followed, doing much cooler tricks into the pit than I did. I'd have to work on my flips I guess. We all climbed out and ate lunch together. I checked my phone again. It was clogged again with more notifications. These girls really didn't stop. I opened twitter. I had to say something. The boys didn't want to, which I understood. They couldn't stop me from posting though.

I started a new tweet. "Hey guys. You must be confused. Let me introduce myself. I'm Viola Richards. Just a normal, imperfect girl like all you. If you want to get to know me, let me know." I didn't want to be too forceful. But I wanted to be clear that I wasn't just looking for attention and that I was just as new to this as they were. I hoped they would just ask me questions. I hit send and crossed my fingers for positive replies. Ethan gave me an encouraging smile. _Here goes nothing._

The replies started coming in immediately. I took Ethan's hand for support as I read them. Some were negative, but most were just questions about me and how I knew the twins. I started replying to them. "I am from Soldotna, Alaska. No, I am nobody's girlfriend. I met them just about a week ago. That was the first time we had hung out. I became a fan after I met them. I am eighteen. I am in LA for college. We met at the beach. I have nothing against any of you guys, I didn't even know what I was getting into. It's great hanging out with the twins, they are super nice and fun in real life- just like their videos." I spent a while responding to all the questions I could find until I couldn't focus any more. That was enough for one day.

I hung out the rest of the afternoon a the warehouse while they filmed and edited videos. My own homework was piling up, so I worked on that and occasionally answered more questions from fans. I could do this. _I could do this._ They are all just regular girls like me and it was my responsibility now to be a good role model and be kind to them. I had been in their place before.

Instead of being overwhelmed, I took it as a chance to make a positive difference and give them someone to look up to. Kindness was always the best policy. There was no point to responding negatively. If I did that, I wouldn't be doing anything to deserve Ethan anyway. His fans were a big part of his life and if they hated me, they would begin to resent him. I couldn't let that happen. I'd been given an opportunity to choose kindness over negativity and I was going to do everything I could to set a good example.


	6. The Second Date (Sort of)

I spent my Sunday on Twitter answering more questions and replying to direct messages from Dolan fans. I promised myself that I was going to be 100% transparent with them. There was no point in lying because they would find out and it would only make them hate me more. If I was open with them, however, I had a chance to make them like me. If all of my effort to contact them made Ethan's life a little easier (whether we stay together or not), then it was worth it.

I began my reply spree at eight in the morning after I filled my mug with plenty of coffee and sat on my couch. My DM's and mentions were full of questions and messages from all over the world. _Gotta start somewhere._ I scrolled down for a while and clicked a random mention.

"You are so lucky" it said with a crying emoji. I was lucky to know Ethan, that was for sure. But since my mom called me at work last week, I haven't felt so lucky.

I replied, "I am lucky. But there are tons of reasons for all of us to be grateful. You'll see." I added a smiley on the end and hit send.

Another mention said, "How come all of us have been following the twins for years and they just randomly see you on the beach and want to hang out. I feel like giving up, they'll never notice me."

"Don't give up yet. I am sure they will notice you. You are beautiful and special and unique and important. And there are tons of guys out there just waiting to meet someone like you. Promise." I typed. I wished these girls felt worthy whether the twins noticed them or not. It broke my heart to see how sad they were. I wasn't even dating Ethan and they were so heartbroken that I hung out with them.

"She is so much prettier than me, I would never have a chance with them if they like girls like that." One girl said. I clicked on her profile and looked at her picture before I replied.

"You are ABSOLUTELY GORG what are you talking about?! If I even tried to do my hair like yours it would end up a tangled mess. Any guy would be lucky to have you, and you better remember that." I told her. I really hoped I was helping. I really meant what I said. I continued on like this for several hours.

I wished I could reply to every girl, but there were so many that I felt like I barely made a dent. As much as possible, I made each message personal, checking out the girl's profiles and other tweets. I felt like they were all my friends by the end of it. I wondered if Ethan and Grayson felt that way too. They must have spent countless hours by now talking to these girls and reading their comments.

My responses to so many fans seemed to be making a difference. Instead of all the judgemental and hateful comments I was getting yesterday, I think they began to see that I wanted to get to know them and be their friend. I got mentions that talked about how nice I was and that they were glad the twins were hanging out with someone who was willing to reach out to fans. Some said they thought I was being too nice and faking it but the response was overwhelmingly positive. It made me so glad that I was able to change their minds about me.

My back was hurting from spending so long just laying on the couch, so I decided I would do some yoga and then go for a run. I had been seriously slacking on my workout routine lately and I could feel the difference in my body already- I had less energy and felt sluggish. With a sigh, I got up and changed into some athletic leggings and a long tank top. Then I pulled out my yoga mat and spent the next forty minutes doing yoga in my living room. I was slightly shaky since it had been a while since I did it last, but my muscles felt so much better afterward and I was all ready to go for a nice run. It was also a great opportunity to discover different parts of Los Angeles.

I took pleasure in the familiar burning sensation in my lungs as my legs carried me block after block to the pace of my favorite songs. The sun was shining which made me sweat especially hard. I wasn't used to the California climate yet, it would take me a while to get used to it. The view around me was nothing to complain about though. There was plenty to capture my attention as I ran around the city corners and streets. I called it good after half an hour and walked the last stretch back to my house to cool down. I took a cold shower when I got home.

When I got out, I was greeted by a text from Ethan. I read it even before I finished drying off. "You're amazing. Our fans love you, thank you so much." He said. I was glad he was okay with me reaching out to his fans and being so honest.

"They are amazing. So many of them sent me DM's too. I have only had time to reply to a few so far, but they are all so funny and creative. I feel like they are my friends already. I just hoped they could like me is all. I don't want them to think I am any better than them in any way. I just happened to meet you. And we aren't even officially dating. They don't even know we went on a date. I could be dating Grayson for all they know. Wow, ranting. Anyway. They're great. I'm glad I get to talk to so many of them." I hit send even though I kinda got off track and got dressed. I braided my hair in two braids and put on a pair of white shorts and my NASA tshirt.

"You better not be dating Grayson." He replied. I laughed to myself.

"I mean he's great, but I'm all yours" I said. Some other girl would be perfect for Grayson. I liked Ethan from the moment I met him.

"All mine, huh?" He texted. I blushed.

"Well… assuming you want to keep me around that is." I replied. I could feel my body heating up already. The way he looked at me was too much.

"Oh, I want you around." He said. "In fact, do you wanna come over now?" He asked. I wanted to give in, but I wasn't going to give what he wanted that easily.

"I have a better idea" I texted, adding a smirking emoji. "Come over and I'll take us somewhere."

"You could take me anywhere." He said. Oh, boy was he in for a treat. When he pulled up, I could tell he thought I had some intimate plans. I almost changed my mind and pulled him inside when he got to my apartment and I saw the look on his face. Staying firm and teasing him was more fun, though. Besides, when and if we went all the way, I wanted it to be perfect. It wouldn't be my first time, but to say the least my other experiences were less than spectacular and I cared more about Ethan than any of my other boyfriends. _Well, he wasn't my boyfriend yet. I hoped he would be though._

He looked irresistible in a cutoff and tight blue jeans. God, he was making this hard. I had changed into a black romper with a flower pattern to show off my legs and I left the top button open. I smirked as I approached him. Two could play at this game. "Hey, Ethan." I said, hugging him.

"So are you going to tell me where we're going or keep me in the dark?" He asked. I laughed.

"You'll find out. It can't be worse than the 'Where Am I?' challenge, right?" He seemed glad that I was familiar with his videos.

"That is true. At least I'm not blindfolded." I giggled.

"Not yet, at least." He raised his eyebrow. He was going to be one disappointed teenage boy. I took his keys and drove us just a few blocks to a strip mall near my apartment. I parked in front of a big sign that read "LOS ANGELES PREMIUM MINI GOLF" or it would, if the "G" in golf hadn't burned out. He looked at me, very confused. "Ready to play some mini golf?!" I asked, with exaggerated excitement. He started cracking up.

"You, Viola Richards, are an evil girl. I'm gonna whoop your butt at mini golf for that." I laughed.

"At least I'm cute!" I called as I ran ahead inside and paid for all of our equipment before he could. I couldn't let him pay for every date. He caught up and took my hand.

"You are cute, but you won't get away with this." He said, kissing me.

To say he beat me at mini golf would be an understatement. I am pretty sure it took me about eight swings each time to get the ball in the hole. But it was worth it to get Ethan's reaction. I was so happy when I was with him. He got super silly and wasn't afraid to be himself, which brought out my silly side too. It was nice to be able to be myself and be weird with someone. I even got him to show me his turtle man face. I was glad to have someone I could go on spontaneous adventures with.

"That was fun." I told him. "Except for the part where you whooped my butt. I'll get you next time, though. I just need to practice my mini golf skills." I joked.

" I don't know if you can recover from a loss like that." He said. We both laughed. He was probably right. I really sucked at golfing. "I really appreciate you reaching out to my fans." He switched to a serious tone. "You didn't have to, you have no obligation to them or even me. Not just anyone would have done that. I didn't even ask you." I smiled.

"I feel like I do have an obligation to them, though. I felt the way they did once. It took me a long time to be confident with who I was, and I wish someone had been there to tell me I was good enough. Especially someone connected to those I looked up to. All these girls spend their days hoping to even get noticed by you and Grayson, the least I can do is acknowledge that." I paused. "And, I could be obligated to you… if you want." I was hoping he understood what I meant. He smiled, and tilted my chin up to look at him.

"Viola, will you be my girlfriend?" He asked. My heart pounded.

"I thought you'd never ask." I responded. Then I stood on my toes and kissed him again. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. He noticed and started teasing me.

"Someone's happy." He said. The ball was in his court now.

"Don't push your luck." I said, still smiling.

"What, you'll revoke my mini golf privileges?" He asked. I tried to give him a stern look but I failed. He just laughed and walked around the car to open my door for me. Ethan had a sweet side to him for sure.

"Is Grayson gonna make fun of me too?" I asked.

"Most definitely." I sighed, but we both knew I didn't mind. I was too happy to be annoyed. Ethan Dolan was officially my boyfriend. I was the luckiest girl in the world.


	7. A Day with Grayson

The next day I woke up in disbelief that I was Ethan's girlfriend. The whole date felt like a dream that couldn't possibly be true. I picked up my phone and sent Ethan a text. "Yesterday actually happened, right?" I had to be sure.

"I see the excitement hasn't worn off yet. I'm glad you're this excited to be my girlfriend. Not just anyone gets that privilege." I giggled. I loved seeing it even over text. So it was true, after all. Oddly enough, I felt like watching that episode of Spongebob with the "Best Day Ever" song in the beginning. For an eighteen year old, I still had a childish side to me. Every once in a while, I would wake up and watch cartoons with my breakfast like I used to. I wondered if Ethan would enjoy that. I figured he probably would, he could be pretty silly.

"Grayson won't stop teasing me about being your boyfriend :(" Ethan texted me. I knew it. I could only imagine how much he would tease me.

"Called it! Maybe I should come over so he has a new target. Actually, I feel like I haven't had much time to get to know Grayson yet. Do you think he likes me?" I asked.

"Trust me- if he didn't like you, we wouldn't be dating. We're kind of a package deal. Grayson and I do everything together, so if our girlfriends can't hang out with both of us, it makes it really hard. It would be nice for you two to get to know each other better, though. How about you text him and see if he wants to hang out for the day, as a sort of test run?" It sounded fun, but I was a little worried. If we didn't get along, would it change how Ethan saw me?

"I'll give it a shot." I texted. No promises. I pulled up Grayson's contact in my phone. We hadn't texted at all yet. "Hey Grayson. Since I might be hanging around often now, I figured we should get to know one another. Are you up for an adventure?" I waited. I had an idea of where to go, I just hoped he wouldn't think it was lame.

"Sure, just you and me?" He texted, with a smirking emoji.

"Oh, yeah. No Ethans allowed." I replied, with a crying laughing emoji. "I hope you like Harry Potter." I said.

We pulled up in front of Universal Studios, and I was already bouncing with excitement. "I don't think you understand, Grayson. I have wanted to go to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter since I heard it was being built. They have Butterbeer. Butterbeer, Grayson." I looked at him excitedly, and he laughed loudly.

"Well, let's go then! What are you waiting for?!" He asked, and we got out of the car and headed to the gates. We got our day passes and marveled at the cool attractions on the way to the Harry Potter section of the park. It was all cool, but I was on a mission for Butterbeer and nobody was going to stop me. Grayson was really funny, and a little more exuberant than Ethan. He was a blast to hang out with. I really hoped he liked me as much as I liked him because I couldn't wait to hang out with him more.

"I'm glad Ethan found you." He said. "You seem like a good match. He's been so happy ever since you started hanging out." I smiled.

"He makes me happy too. I'm glad you guys found me on the beach. I don't know what I would do in LA with no friends right now. And actually, as weird as it sounds- I'm really happy I get to interact with your fans. They're all so funny and sweet. You guys are lucky to have such a positive, strong fandom that stays so loyal to you. But that's also because you guys work so hard, put out good messages, and stay out of drama. And that's not easy to do." I had been hoping I'd get a chance to tell Grayson that. I already told Ethan, but Grayson was the other half of the Dolan twins and he was just as responsible for his fans. He beamed at me.

"That's so sweet! I'm so glad you love our fans- it would be hard for either us to date someone who wasn't comfortable with them. It's so much a part of our lives that it would be hard to avoid." A teenage girl, obviously a fan, started freaking out at seeing Grayson nearby. "Speaking of-" Grayson laughed. He greeted the fan with a big hug and happily agreed to take a photo. For how often they ran into fans, they always took photos with a big smile and never seemed annoyed. It was pretty amazing, actually. I offered to take the picture for them so it looked a little nicer. I made sure to take lots from different angles so the fan could choose the perfect one.

"Thank you so much" She said, a little overwhelmed. You could tell she was trying to hold back tears of excitement. "I have been a fan since you guys just started out on vine, I can't believe I finally get to meet you!" She said. Grayson said "Aw" and hugged her again. "Is Ethan here?" She asked.

"No, just me today, sorry. I'll tell him you said hi, though. What's your name?" He asked.

"Omg, that would be amazing. My name is Caroline." She replied.

"Well it was wonderful to meet you, Caroline." He smiled wide at her.

"And you're Viola! I don't know if you remember, but I sent you a few dms a couple days ago about how I was glad you were reaching out to the fans. You were so sweet!" She said. I couldn't believe she knew who I was.

"Aw, thank you, that's so nice of you. You were all so sweet to me, too. I think I do remember you. I got a lot of dms but that sounds familiar." She gave me a hug too.

"So does this mean you're dating Grayson?" She asked. I wasn't sure what to say. Should I lie and say we are all just friends still or tell this fan that I was officially dating Ethan? I wasn't sure me or Ethan were ready for that. It seemed best to tell the truth, but not the whole truth.

"Nah, we're just friends." I leaned in. "Between you and me, I'm more of an Ethan girl." I said with a wink. Grayson laughed.

"Hey!" He said. I stuck my tongue out at him. The fan giggled nervously.

"Don't worry, I'm in your lane, Grayson." She said.

"Thank you! I feel like nobody is ever in my lane when we meet fans." He said with a fake pout. He couldn't hold it for long, though, and broke into a laugh again.

"It was great meeting you, Caroline. I'll be sure to tell Ethan hi." I said, and she walked back to her mom.

"Butterbeer?!" I asked. I couldn't wait any longer. Grayson just smiled and shook his head. The line was long, so Gray and I talked about our lives growing up. It turns out that growing up in New Jersey wasn't that different from growing up in Alaska. I guess all small towns are relatively the same no matter where you're from. Finally, we reached the front of the line.

"Two butterbeers please." Grayson said, not letting me pay.

"So I guess it's a date, then?" I asked. "Ethan's gonna be mad." I said.

"Let him be mad." He replied. I laughed. Grayson handed me my butterbeer and we walked to the replica of Hogwarts to take our first sip. It was delicious. Butterbeer was just as magical as I had always imagined. Grayson and I looked at eachother with our butterbeer 'staches and laughed.

"You've got something on your lip." I said.

"So do you." He laughed. We took a selfie like that, holding up our butterbeer in front of Hogwarts to send to Ethan. He would get a kick out of this.

"We're having butterbeer at Hogwarts without you." I said, and sent him the picture. He replied almost immediately.

"YOU TAKE ME TO MINI GOLF BUT YOU GO TO HOGWARTS WITH GRAY?! What kind of girlfriend are you?" He replied. I showed Grayson and he cracked up.

"A cute one" I replied with a kissy face.

"Yeah, and good thing too." He said. He sent a picture of him sitting in the foam pit alone.

"I'll bring you a souvenir, promise." I sent, then put away my phone. "Where to next?" I asked Gray.

"To the Hogwarts Express!" He exclaimed. This boy was too much. I followed behind him through the crowd to board the train. I was just glad he was enjoying my idea so much. We rode the train and wandered through the various wizarding shops throughout the park. I bought myself a replica of Hermione's wand and and a hufflepuff scarf. Yes, I was a hufflepuff.

I got Ethan a some candies from Honeydukes and a few secret things to prank Grayson with from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Grayson bought a stuffed Hedwig that could turn it's head and spent the rest of the time mimicking owl noises and making it talk to me in the third person. How these boys were so famous, I didn't know. I guess their sense of humor worked on vine, though. After several hours, we had explored all there was to explore. It was time to head home and eat some food to recover from the butterbeer-induced sugar high we were both experiencing.

"Thanks for putting up with my nerd rants" I said as we walked to the car. "I might like Harry Potter just a little bit."

"Well you had to put up with me playing with my Hedwig puppet for the last hour, so I'd call it even." He said, petting the stuffy's head. I laughed.

"You're so freaking weird." I told him.

"So are you. At least we're agreed on that." He smiled. I was glad today went so well. I knew how important it was to Ethan that we became friends. And I think we are well on our way there. Grayson drove us to the warehouse after we picked up some food for the three of us. I had an idea as we pulled up, and turned to Grayson.

"Are you up for pranking Ethan?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

"I'm listening." He said.

"Let's pretend we had a fight over something- hmmmm… aha! I asked about your 'nothing matters" tattoo and you explained what it meant. I told you I disagreed with your outlook and we had a fight about it. Ooh! I even have some eye drops in my purse to make it look like I cried. He'll be so upset that we fought." I smirked. He gave me an evil smile.

"You're diabolical. I love it." I put in some eye drops and smeared my undereye makeup just a little to make it look like I had tried to fix it after crying. Then I gave Grayson one last smile and took a deep breath to get into character. As we shut the car doors, Ethan greeted us at the door.

"So how was your day at Universal?" He questioned. Then his face grew wary as he saw my red eyes and our serious, forced smiles. He walked beside me, leading me by the small of my back with his hand. I could see him glancing over at Gray with a worried expression. _Don't smile. Don't give it away._

I felt bad, actually. Ethan seemed really concerned. I could tell he disliked being in the middle of our argument and disliked even more than we wouldn't tell him what happened. When we got inside, Gray left to the editing room and Ethan pulled me aside. "What happened? From your texts, it seemed like you were having a great time." He said gently.

"We were. But then we got in a fight a-and." I pretended to hold back tears, wiping under my eyes. "I'm so sorry, Ethan. I know you wanted it to go well. Please don't hate me." I said.

"It would take a lot for me to help you. Unless you really hurt Gray's feelings, it's just an argument. Surely, it can't be that bad." He said, though he didn't seem convinced. I could tell how loyal he was to Grayson. He felt bad that I was upset, but knew he would be upset at me if I had hurt Grayson. I admired that. Sure, I was looking forward to the day we had been dating long enough that he felt that loyal to me, but I couldn't expect it that fast. Grayson had always been his best friend. He kissed my forehead and left to go talk to Gray in the editing room. I was really starting to feel bad now.

Apparently Gray was fine with it, though. I could hear them talking tensely under their breath. Grayson knew Ethan's limits better than I did, so I took comfort in the fact that he was carrying on with the prank.

"No, Ethan! It's not all good. She doesn't even like the way I live my life. How can we be friends if she insults me and argues with what I believe?" Grayson shouted. Ethan sighed. He dragged Grayson out to the main area of the warehouse and over to me. Grayson and I couldn't look each other and not laugh, so we avoided eye contact. Ethan thought it was out of anger.

"Look, can we just talk this out?" Ethan asked. "Maybe it is all a misunderstanding." He said.

"Oh, no. there are no misunderstandings on my part." I said.

"None on my part either." Grayson said, really struggling to not smile now. "Only one misunderstanding here." He said. Ethan looked confused.

"How does that work?" He asked. "How is there a misunderstanding if neither of you have a misunderstanding?" He furrowed his brow.

"Because you're the one with the misunderstanding." Grayson said, smiling now. "You just got PRANKED!" He yelled at Ethan and we both burst out laughing as soon as we looked at each other. Ethan glared as we high fived each other and laughed about each other's facial expressions.

"That was so hard! I barely kept a straight face." I said and Grayson agreed.

"You guys actually suck." Ethan said, but there was relief in his voice, He was glad we had a good time and there was no tension between us. Ethan started chasing Grayson around to give him a noogie and I laughed as they both ended up wrestling in the foam pit. When they finished, they both came down to me and Ethan wrapped his arm around me. "Okay, how was your day ACTUALLY?" He asked.

"It was so fun! I have always wanted to go there. And we met some fans. They were all super sweet. One girl in particular, Caroline, was awesome. I told her I would say hi to you. So hi from Caroline." Ethan smiled.

"Maybe I'll dm her later." He said. That would be so sweet. If he didn't, I would to pass along his hello.

"I got you candy!" I said. I handed him a chocolate frog, Burtie Botts every flavour beans, acid pops, cauldron cakes, and exploding bonbons. He hugged me and said thank you. I secretly hoped he got all earwax flavored jelly beans.

"Look at my owl!" Grayson said in his little kid voice. He swooped it up and around Ethan's face excitedly and make more owl noises. We all laughed.

"Seems like you guys had fun." Ethan raised his brows.

"We most certainly did." I smiled and Ethan and kissed him. "Now let's eat, I'm starving!" I ate dinner with them and then headed home to do some schoolwork. I had been severely slacking on my work and I needed to be caught up before Michael's funeral this weekend. I practiced my song a few times before I went to sleep. I dreamed of Ethan and the wonders of Harry Potter all night long, except right before my alarm went off for class.

I had the same driving nightmare as before, only this time it didn't even start with good memories. I was just stuck next to Michael unable to say goodbye or warn him. Ethan had helped keep away the sadness I felt, but he couldn't keep it away forever. The hurt I felt always found a way to creep back. _It's only been a week._ _Maybe the funeral will bring some closure._ But I knew things like this took time. It was okay to be unhappy. It was better to be honest than to hold it all inside. I just had to take it one day at a time. Life couldn't always be butterbeer and adventure. Sometimes you have to go through the rough of it to appreciate the good. That's how I would get through it.


	8. The Funeral

The rest of the week, I wasn't able to hang out with Ethan and Grayson because school took up all my time. I had classes every day and tons of homework to get done when I got home. Plus, I had to keep practicing my song for Michael's funeral. One night, I stayed up all night practicing. However, I just couldn't get it right. I would sing and my voice would give out or my fingers would play the wrong notes on the keyboard.

Other times I would sing it perfectly and it just wouldn't sound right. After hours of practicing, I just broke down and cried. It had to be perfect. This was for my best friend. This was my goodbye. My only chance to really say goodbye. It was a beautiful song but it sounded wrong. I felt like I was sharing a moment that nobody would understand. I put away my keyboard at about three a.m. the night before I was supposed to leave for the funeral.

I was so stressed out about it being perfect that I couldn't sleep. I just laid in my bed for about an hour before I couldn't take it any more. I texted Ethan to see if he was up. Maybe he could distract me. "Are you awake?" I texted him.

"Yeah, always. I'm surprised you're up, are you okay? You're never up this late." He was right, I never stayed up this late.

"I don't know… I am really worried about this weekend. Michael's parents asked me to sing a song at his service but I just can't get it right. I have taken a video for my mom and she says it sounds fine, but I can't escape the feeling that it isn't right." I texted him.

"Maybe the song isn't right any more. It might have been right in the moment you chose it, but you are in a different place now. Just look into your heart and you'll find what feels right. It doesn't matter if it's a "funeral song" or even a song that has anything to do with funerals. Just sing what is right." He said. I sighed. He was right, but I hadn't practiced anything else and I had to perform it in two days.

"I'm not so great at winging performances." I said. I didn't even like singing in front of people, but I could handle it if I practiced enough.

"You will do fine. It's not a performance. You're just singing to Michael." He said. He was right. Nobody mattered. I wasn't singing for anyone in that room. I was singing for my friend. I smiled.

"Thank you. I needed that. I'm gonna miss you this weekend. Can we hang out on Sunday when I get back?" I asked.

"Of course. I'll be here. If you need to talk, I'm only a text away. I can pick you up from the airport on Sunday if you want."

"I would love that." I said. _Okay. I can do this. Sleep for now, it can wait until tomorrow._ So I finally slept.

The next morning, I packed up everything I would need and took an uber to the airport. I was glad to be going home, I needed to be around what was familiar. Luckily, my flight was on time and I made it through security with no hiccups. The two flights home went pretty quickly as I slept through most of them, still tired from my long night. The thought of seeing my family and getting to facetime Ethan later was all that kept me together. Michael's death was hitting me hard again. Meeting Ethan had been so amazing that I almost forgot how I felt the day my mom called to tell me.

As I stepped off the plane, I breathed in the clean, cool Alaskan air. I was home. The sky was gray and cloudy. Even though that was typical, it felt fitting. Even the weather was mourning the loss of Michael's life. I ran up to my mom when I got into the terminal and gave her the biggest hug I ever had. "I missed you so much and I have barely even been gone." I said. "I have so much to tell you." I told my parents everything (well, minus all the PDA stuff) that had happened since I got to LA.

"Well it seems like you've been having the big city adventure you've always wanted." My dad said.

"I really have. Obviously it hasn't been easy. What with college, a new city, and of course Michael. But I think you would really love Ethan and Grayson if you met them." I said. I hoped it lasted long enough that I got to introduce my parents to them.

"I'm sure we would, sweetie." My mom told me. I was so relieved to pull into my own driveway. The familiar smell of my family home was such a comfort. I was comfortable. I could just go through whatever I needed here before the funeral. I plopped down on the couch immediately and closed my eyes. My mom brought over a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies and a tall glass of milk. I ate a few while they were nice and warm. I had been needing some time at home after everything.

After a nice family dinner and round of Monopoly, I changed into an old pair of gray sweatpants I had left at home and a comfy red and black flannel. It was getting late enough that I needed to call Ethan before he went to bed. It was already late in LA, so he would be up but I didn't want to miss him. I pulled up his contact and grabbed a cozy blanket as it rang. He picked up after a few rings.

"Hey babe." He said as he came on screen. His hair was wet and he wasn't wearing a shirt. I think he was on the couch in his apartment. He must have been working out with Grayson and then showered.

"Hey." I said, smiling tiredly. "I miss you already. All the flights went well, but I am not looking forward to flying even more on sunday morning. But if I get to fly to you, it's worth it. Especially if you happen to be shirtless like you are now…" I flirted.

"Haha. We'll just see about that." He raised an eyebrow. His voice was a little rough since it was late at night. Why was that so attractive in guys? "I'm glad the flights went well. Are you glad to be home?" He asked.

"So glad. I missed this house and my family so much. Especially during a hard time, it's nice to be back in my comfort zone for a couple days." I wrapped the blanket around me so it covered part of my face.

"You look cute when you're comfortable like that." He said. " I mean I won't complain about outfits like that one you wore to mini golf, but you look happy like that." I was happy. Nothing was more comforting than curling up in a nice blanket and relaxing.

"Do you ever miss Jersey?" I asked him.

"Yeah, all the time. I love New Jersey, it's just that Gray and I didn't have the best school experience there. But I love being home and having some real outdoors to adventure in." Ethan said.

"Yeah, same with Alaska. Los Angeles is amazing, but Alaska has so much natural beauty. I really miss the fresh air sometimes. Anyway, I am really tired and I have a long day tomorrow, so will text you in the morning sometime. Get some sleep, you look tired. I'll see you Sunday." I said.

"I will. Good luck tomorrow. Night." He smiled as we hung up.

In the morning I put on my new dress and blue velvet heels before heading out the door for the service. I still didn't know what to sing, but I had a feeling it would come to me. Michael would tell me what to sing somehow. The service was beautiful, with big flower vases everywhere and words from all of Michael's friends and family. Towards the end, the time came for me to sing. I approached the piano, my palms sweaty. But I didn't feel the eyes of my audience.

I sat at the piano and searched for Michael's presence. Before I knew it, my fingertips began to play a simple melody. _This is for you, Michael._ I sang "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". I wasn't even sure if I sang all the words right, it had been years since I had even heard it. It felt right, though. I didn't want to sing Michael a sad song, he had heard enough of those already. I didn't want to commemorate a joyful human being with a sad song.

My voice carried the melody without me even thinking, my fingers moved as if they were ghosts. I don't know what came over me, but the nerves completely evaporated. When I finished, I had to pause and remember where I was. "I love you, Michael." I said into the microphone, tears dripping down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away before I walked back down the aisle to my seat.

"That was beautiful, honey." My mom said as I sat. My dad rubbed my back for support. I didn't stop crying even as we drove home. He was really gone. That hadn't sunk in yet. That was the first time I ever saw my dad cry. I went right to my room after we got home and stayed there all evening. I got hungry around ten p.m., though and snuck out to the living room to grab some leftovers from dinner. My mom was sitting on the couch, looking at old photos. "Hey Vi. I already made you a plate you can microwave."

"Thanks, Mom." I said, doing just that.

" I posted a video of your song online for the relatives to see and anyone else who couldn't make the funeral. Hope you don't mind." She said. No, I probably sounded terribly unrehearsed and choked up.

"Ugh, Mom. Wish you'd asked first."

"You sounded beautiful, sweetie. The relatives really appreciated hearing it." She defended herself.

"Okay, fine. What's done is done, I guess." I said. After that, I went to bed and fell right asleep. When I woke up, I was already running late for my flight, so I shoved my things in my bag and my parents rushed me to the airport. Alaska was little more laid back with flight check-ins, so I still made my flight just fine. I couldn't wait to hug Ethan. I hoped he was still into me in my comfy clothes. I was wearing the same gray sweats, slides, a comfy t-shirt, and my hair was in a messy bun.

The plane touched down in LAX, and I rushed off the plane to go find Ethan. I searched around the terminal, but I couldn't find him. I was about to walk out the door when I spotted a handsome teen with a red streak in his hair out of the corner of my eye. _Ethan. I feel like I'm home._ I walked closer and nearly cried when I saw him. He was standing with my favorite coffee, a mocha, and a bouquet of colorful flowers. I ran to hug him. I didn't care who saw.

"You are the sweetest boyfriend in the world." I said, kissing him. He was so warm and smelled amazing. I just wanted to hug him there and breath in his scent for hours. Instead, I took the coffee in one hand and held his with my other. "Thank you for picking me up. And for the flowers and coffee." I said. That was by far the sweetest thing a boyfriend had ever done for me.

"Anything for you, love." He said. I sipped my coffee all the way home, and Ethan held my hand while he drove.

"Can I come to your place?" I asked. I didn't want to be home alone right now.

"Sure." He said, turning the other direction. "Whatever you need, your wish is my command." He squeezed my hand. He held the door for me when we got to his apartment. Grayson emerged from his room and came over to give me a big hug. I teared up a little.

"You guys are always saving me." I said. "Thank you. You two mean the world to me." I hugged Grayson a little harder then let him go.

"Hey, you're important to us. And we look after people we care about." Grayson said. His smile had so much joy in it, it was hard to feel sad around him. Ethan lead me to the couch, where he handed me a blanket and sat next to me, enveloping me in his arms. I snuggled as close to him as I possibly could.

"I never thought I could care about someone as much as I care about you this fast." I said. Ethan smiled and looked down at me. There was a certain gleam in his eyes that I hadn't seen before. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing. I just- I like taking care of you. I've had other girlfriends and they were fun, but I just can't get you off my mind. I want to take care of you and make you laugh and be there to hold you when you cry. I love you, Viola." He said. I kissed him.

"I love you too, Ethan. I really want this to last. I will do whatever I have to to make this work." I said. He smiled and kissed me again. We cuddled close and sat there together until we both fell asleep on his couch. I could worry about changing clothes and getting my stuff for class in the morning. For now I was perfectly content in the safety of Ethan's arms.


	9. Telling the World

I woke up in Ethan's arms. I was a little confused, though, because I was in his bed rather than the couch. He must have woken up at some point and carried me in here. He must've been incredibly gentle because I hadn't woken up for a second since I fell asleep. I was the luckiest girl in the world. I turned around so I was facing him. His sleeping face was so peaceful, I didn't want to wake him. Besides, I knew he hardly got enough sleep. He deserved to get a little extra rest.

I slipped out from his arms as quietly as I could so I wouldn't disturb him. I wanted to keep laying next to him and wrap my arms around him, but I only had an hour before class started, so I had to get home. I planned on running home or stealing a skateboard, but Grayson was awake in the living room. "Do you mind running me to my apartment? I know it's early, but I have class in an hour and I couldn't wake up Ethan. He looked too peaceful." I said. Gray looked tired but of course he agreed. He was always kind and looking for a way to help people. I hoped Ethan got plenty more sleep.

"Thanks, Gray. I'm sorry to ask for a ride so early. I was just gonna steal a skateboard, but I am already gonna be pushing it trying to skateboard to the college in time for class." I told him apologetically.

"It's alright, I was up anyway. It was nice of you to let Ethan sleep." He said. I put on some Kid Cudi on the way there because I knew it was Gray's favorite. He seemed to appreciate it even though he looked exhausted. "Hey, are you okay? I know you and Ethan don't always get a ton of sleep, but you look especially tired." I said. He sighed and smiled faintly.

"Yeah, I'm alright. There's just this girl I met the other day that I have been texted a lot and we texted most of last night. But from the way our conversation went I just don't think it's gonna work out. She's great but I don't think she would be a good fit with my fans and how much I have to work to put out videos. You are flexible with Ethan needing to film and you care so much for our fans. I don't know. I just feel like I will never be able to find a girl who can make me and my fans happy. And I don't know if me being happy can justify upsetting my fans. I have everything because of them." He seemed really upset about this. I reached out to touch his arm.

"Grayson, your fans want you to be happy. Yes, a lot of them are in love with you and they would be sad if you were with someone. But they know you can't be with all of them and more than anything, they want you to be happy. You don't have to fake happiness for them or set aside everything in your life for them. Someday, you're going to stop doing youtube and have a family of your own, so you can't make them happy forever. They will love and support you no matter what. As long as this girl understands your fans and isn't around to brag and show off that she's with you, they can learn to love her.

I received thousands of hate comments when that picture of me with you guys was posted, and they didn't even know about me and Ethan. But once they got to know me, most of them changed their minds. By not giving it a shot, you're underestimating both your fans and this girl you like. I say give it a shot. You deserve to be happy too." I told him. I hated seeing him so low. He seemed to really be contemplating my words.

"You think so? I will think about it. Maybe you're right. Thanks, Vi." He said. I hugged him tightly before I got out of the car at my place. He looked like he needed it. Maybe I was repaying him for the hug I really needed on the beach. "Now go home and get some sleep. You need it." I smiled.

"I will. Your advice settled my thoughts a bit. I think I could actually sleep now." Gray said, smiling his normal smile now. I rushed inside as he pulled away and hauled my butt to class. I just made it before the professor walked in. The day went by quickly. I checked my phone to find a text from Ethan.

"No good morning kiss?" He said. Ugh. I wish I had thought of that.

"Sorry I just left. You looked so peaceful sleeping, I couldn't wake you up. You rarely get enough sleep as it is." I said. When he put it like that, it sounded like I slipped out like a thief in the night.

"It's okay. You can make it up to me later on our date." He said. My cheeks heated up.

"You know I have school tomorrow, don't you?" I said.

"Don't worry, I'll have you home before late." He said. Stupid school. I couldn't say I would mind spending all night with Ethan again. I walked home, enjoying the afternoon sun. Hopefully it would keep up the nice tan I had going for me. When I got home, I didn't have any homework for once, so I was almost at a loss for what to do. First, I talked myself into going for a run. But that didn't take up much time, so I decided to go to the store and restock my already pathetic supply of groceries. The last couple weeks had been such a whirlwind that I was almost out of food.

As I roamed the aisles of the store trying to remember everything I needed, I stumbled upon the hair dye section. My sea green ends had been tragically fading to a lighter and lighter blonde as the days went by, so I figured it was a good time to update my look. Green didn't seem like the right shade anymore, though. It was time to change it up. I grabbed a box labeled "lovely lavender" and hurried home excitedly.

Once the groceries were away, I spent a while carefully applying the bleach and then dye over the faded ends of my hair, doing the best ombre I could. In the end, I was pretty happy with my work. My hair faded from my natural rich brown to a girly lavender. I hoped Ethan liked it. Judging from how many colors he had dyed his hair, I imagined he would. I curled my hair loosely and pinned up one side. Just as I was finishing that, I got another text from Ethan.

"Pick you up in half an hour?" He asked. I smiled. I couldn't imagine a day my heart wouldn't beat faster when I got to see this boy.

"Can't wait." I said. _Crap. I need to figure out what to wear._ I checked my makeup and hair one more time then stood and went to my closet. Fifteen minutes before Ethan was going to knock on my door, my floor was littered with clothes and I still had no outfit to wear. Then I remembered I had received a few new outfits I had ordered that I never opened. I opened up the boxes and sighed a sigh of relief as I saw an outfit would do just the trick. I put on a white off the shoulder blouse with flowy bell sleeves and paired it with my black chuck taylors and an overall dress that was cut off about mid thigh. Cute but casual. Just as I was fixing up my hair, the doorbell rang. _Perfect timing._

I opened the door, smiling. Ethan was wearing a simple beige long sleeve top with black jeans and combat boots. _He looks good. Thank God I am his girlfriend so I don't have to hold back my reactions so much._ Ethan laughed at the look on my face as I looked him up and down.

"I like the hair." He said. "But I especially like the outfit." He raised an eyebrow. I bit my lip and then leaned forward and kissed him a few times. Once wasn't enough.

"Sorry I ran off this morning. I won't do it again." I said. He still looked a little tired, but I could tell the extra sleep helped him.

"Good. I like sleep but I like you a whole lot more." Then he kissed me again, pulling me into him. His arms were so strong and his stature towered over me. I had to go on my tiptoes to kiss him. If we didn't stop, he was going to mess up my makeup before we even went and did anything. I pulled back and looked at him.

"You can mess up my makeup later." I said, taking his hand and closing my door.

"Is that a promise?" He said seductively. I just winked at him and kept walked. I smiled as I heard him sigh behind me. He opened the door for me again, then smoothly climbed into his car and turned on the ignition. He even made driving look cool. I sang along to the radio on the way to wherever he was taking me because I knew he liked hearing me sing. Also, all the best songs came on the radio and I couldn't resist in my good mood. About twenty minutes later, we pulled up to a little restaurant that looked pretty fancy. All the cars in the parking lot, including Ethan's BMW, were shiny, new cars that looked like they cost way more than I could afford any time soon. I looked at him with wide eyes.

"Is this restaurant gonna cost as much as my college loans?" He laughed.

"Don't worry about it." He smiled, rubbing his thumb along my hand as he held it.

"I should have worn something different, I didn't know it was going to be this fancy." I worried.

"I'm just wearing jeans and combat boots. Trust me, it's okay. If it was that formal, I would have told you." He said. I couldn't stay worried with him around. He always made me feel better. I got out of the car and followed him inside. It was decorated with simple, modern artwork and decorations. More importantly, though, was that it smelled incredible. Whatever they were cooking right then was what wanted.

We sat down at a nice, secluded table in the corner where we could talk without the prying eyes and ears of everyone else in the restaurant. I grasped Ethan's hand and smiled at him when he looked up. "Thank you, this place is really special." I said. I still couldn't tell you why he chose me to be his girlfriend but I would always thank the rain for causing me to stand up to walk toward my car and bump into him. He smiled back at me and leaned across the table to kiss me.

"I knew you'd like it. And you're welcome. You look beautiful, by the way."

"And you look very handsome." I replied.

"I feel like no girl I have ever dated has understood me as well as you do. I can just totally be myself and I never worry that you will be intimidated or weirded out."

"I feel the same way. I never expected Ethan Dolan, youtube star and teen heartthrob to live up to everything he does in his videos, but you're even more amazing in real life." I said.

"That brings me to the reason I brought you here, actually." He said. My heart dropped and the smile left my face. Was he going to break up with me already? Did the fans hate me? Was it because I left this morning? Or had he been uncertain all along? He saw my face change and took my hand.

"It's nothing bad. It just may be a little tricky is all." I furrowed my brows.

"Should I be worried?" I asked. He sighed.

"No, don't be worried. We'll get through it together. We are officially a couple now. I love you, Viola. And the fans know that you hang out with Grayson and I but they don't know how close we are. You talk to them every day, but you aren't able to be honest because of me. And they're my fans, so I should be honest with them." I could see where he was going with this now.

"So you want to tell the fans about us." I interrupted. He smiles nervously.

"Well, yeah. I can do it myself. I know they will still blow up your phone and stuff, but I think it should come from me. What do you think? Are you okay with going public?" He asked. I thought for a moment. I had promised myself that I would always be honest. These girls were just as much my responsibility as Ethan's now. I smiled happily at him.

"Of course I am. I love you and I want everyone to know it." He smiled wider than I had ever seen and kissed me again.

"You're the girl of my dreams, Viola." Then our food came, and we talked as we ate. The food was absolutely amazing. I had never eaten anything so good in my life, and I was sure the price would reflect that. But Ethan knew I wasn't with him because of his money, so I didn't let myself feel guilty. After dinner, we got back into his car and headed back to his place.

"So Grayson isn't home right now." He said, helping me out of the car. I felt the butterflies in my stomach flutter. I had wondered when this moment would come. This time, I didn't want to tease him or joke around.

"Will he be back any time soon?" I asked, trying to be casual and hide my nerves.

"No." He said simply. I nodded. We both knew what this meant. We walked inside, holding hands, saying nothing. We didn't stop to hang up our coats or leave my purse in the living room. Instead, he just walked me straight to his bedroom and closed the door behind him.

"I love you, Viola." He told me. I looked up at him. He had turned around and grabbed my waist with his hands, pulling me close gently.

"I love you too, Ethan." Our lips locked and we became lost in each other's kisses for what felt like hours. The butterflies never left me, but I felt comfortable with Ethan because he took it slow. After kisses came the real nerves as he began to take off more and more of his clothes and then mine. His body was incredibly defined and strong and I loved every piece of it. He seemed to love my body as well, as he slowly surveyed me with his eyes and then his hands.

"You're the most beautiful girl in the world." He said between kisses. I just kissed him back harder. Then we lay on the bed together and continued late into the night. Up until that point, I didn't think it was possible for Ethan to make me any happier, but I was wrong. I thought he made my mind go crazy, but he made my body go even crazier. There was no way I was going to be able to focus in class tomorrow. Every movement Ethan made would be on my mind and all I would be able to think about would be doing it again.

I woke up in Ethan's bed, blissfully happy and well rested. He was next to me, still mostly naked with his arms wrapped around my mostly naked body. I blushed a little thinking about the night before. I turned to him and kissed him slowly a few times until he started to wake up. He blinked his eyes and immediately pulled me closer to kiss me passionately and feel my body again.

"Morning beautiful." He said.

"Good morning." I replied. "I thought you said you were going to have me home before late last night."

"You are home." he said. I couldn't argue with that, I felt at home. It was hard not to get too excited with Ethan laying next to me shirtless in bed.

"I want to stay, but I really need to shower and get ready for class." I said. He sighed and hugged me tightly.

"Alright. I'll give you a ride to your apartment." He said, pulling on some jeans and tshirt. He kissed me a little more ferociously as I stepped out of his car that time. I liked this side of Ethan. Class was hard to sit through, as predicted but I got through it and even made some friends in my classes. When I checked my phone, my notifications were blowing up again. _What is it this time?_ I opened up instagram and found that Ethan had posted a new picture. It was of me and him last night before we went into the restaurant. I had forgotten we asked someone to take our picture. I was smiling and Ethan kissed my cheek and had his arm around me. The caption was pretty long.

"Everyone, meet my girlfriend, Vi. I know a lot of you recognize her by now. But let me introduce you properly. She is the sweetest, funniest, prettiest, most adventurous girl I know. Sure, she sucks at mini golf, but she can't be perfect, right? Most of all- she loves every single one of you guys as much as I do. I hope you all can grow to love her." People stared as I cried over my phone in the middle of the commons. Ethan Dolan loved me and now the whole world knew it.

This time, I ignored all the hate comments. I didn't feel sad at all. I commented on his post with a single red heart and then put away my phone and grabbed my skateboard. I needed to see Ethan as soon as possible. I beamed the whole way there.


	10. Pink Drink, Anyone?

It had now been about three months since I met Ethan. As the semester carried on, I became more and more busy with my schoolwork and neglecting it to hang out with Ethan was no longer possible. Plus, after I was beginning to get my life together again after Michael's passing, I started my job at Nordstrom again. I had begun to run low on money and I desperately needed to get some rent money saved up again. All of it was difficult to juggle, but I hung out with Ethan when I could and that always helped.

Unfortunately, his filming schedule often conflicted with the little free time I actually had. It was tough to keep up our relationship when we so rarely got to spend time together. Of course, that wasn't the only challenge. Ever since we had gone public with our relationship, I got stopped all the time on the street by fans and when we got the chance to go on a date, the paparazzi would follow us around and make our time less romantic and more rushed.

The fans were kind to me in general, but it wore on me to see their comments especially when my plans with Ethan fell through. First, it was hard to see positive comments about how our relationship was "perfect" when it didn't feel perfect at all. I didn't want the fans to be disappointed if it didn't work out, though I really wanted it to. On the other hand, the negative comments about how I wasn't right for Ethan were even worse. Most of them only confirmed my fears and insecurities. Ethan was one of my favorite people in the whole world, but dating him was a lot harder than I initially thought.

Since our schedules were always so different, I had focused more on making friends at the university. Lately, I had been studying with a nice guy from my anthropology class named James. He was no Ethan, but he was really nice and funny. Frankly, I saw more of James than I did of Ethan most of the time. We even decided to hang out for fun on the weekend. Ethan told me he would probably be filming that day, so I agreed when he asked me to get coffee. It was better than staying home.

"Hey, hope your day is going okay. I hope we can spend some time soon, I miss you." I texted Ethan. It was a few minutes before he replied.

"Gray and I have been working on this video for hours. Just can't seem to get it right. But it's supposed to go up Saturday, so I gotta keep working on it or come up with something new quick." He replied. I sighed. I admired Ethan for how hard he worked and knew how important his videos were to his fans, but I wanted to be selfish and get him back. He didn't even say I miss you.

"Alright. Well good luck. Love you." I said.

"Love you too." He typed. _Great conversation._ I grabbed my stuff and headed out to meet James. The summer was officially over now, so the sun set earlier. Although it never really got cold in LA (I would know, I'm from Alaska), it definitely wasn't as hot as a couple months ago, so I grabbed a jacket on my way out. The afternoon was nice, but the sky was a little overcast compared to usual. I walked to the coffee shop since it was only a few blocks away. James had offered to drive me, but that felt too much like a date to me, so I made up an excuse.

Now that I thought about it, it did seem a little like a date. _No, James specifically said hang out. We're getting coffee, that's a friend thing. Right?_ I guess I hadn't told James outright that I had a boyfriend but I had never made any moves on him or flirted. Everything I said to him implied friendship. It hadn't even crossed my mind. I hadn't even bothered to tell Ethan about James and my other new friends. They were nice, but I doubted they would be lifelong. James was more of a study buddy than even a friend and I was pretty sure he could tell that. Not that I would get a chance to tell Ethan at this rate, anyway.

I walked into the coffee shop and James was already sitting at a table, tapping his foot and sipping out of a big mug. I waved as I walked over and he sat up straight and ran his fingers through his hair. He always dressed nicely, but today he seemed to take extra care to pick out his outfit. _Uh-oh. Was I missing something? Had I been so stressed out about Ethan that I missed his hints that this was a date?_ "Hey Viola!" He said, greeting me with a hug.

"Hey James, sorry I'm a little late. I thought it was a little closer." I said. _I don't know what to do. Do I stay?_

"Oh, you're right on time. I was early. How are you?" _I should stay. I will just make it clear it isn't a date._

"Do you want the honest answer or the socially acceptable answer?" I asked with a laugh.

"The honest answer, of course. I didn't just ask for convenience." He said. James was the soft and caring type of guy. I really did like hanging out with him. Ethan was always so stressed out nowadays that he rarely asked me simple things like that. I didn't blame him, but it was nice to have someone care how my day was.

"Well… it's been a long couple months. School and work at the same time is killing me right now. I am excited for Christmas break."

"I feel you. My freshman year, I worked two jobs and took a full load of classes. But don't worry, I will help you through your classes. I really enjoy studying with you anyway." He said, a little shyly. _I don't like where this is going._ I decided to change the subject.

"So what do you get up to when you aren't at the university?" I asked. _That should be a harmless enough question._

"I like to go hiking and I practice with my band on sundays and tuesdays." He said.

"You're in a band? That's so cool! What do you play?" I asked.

"I play bass and sometimes drums when my buddy Jack can't make it to practice." He said.

For a while, we talked about growing up around music and the music his band was working on. Most of what he said was too technical for me to understand, but I kept up as well as I could.

"Actually, we are looking for a background singer for a couple of our songs at the moment. This is a little weird, but I saw your mom tagged you in a video of you singing on facebook a few months ago. You're really good. I think your voice would fit really well with the songs." James said. _Thanks a lot, Mom._

"Oh, really? Wow, that's embarrassing. But thank you, that's really nice. I don't know, though, I don't have a ton of free time. When would I have to practice?" I asked. That would leave even less time for me to potentially see Ethan, but it did sound fun. I was tired of sitting at home hoping he would finish videos instead of just having plans and sticking to them.

"You would only need to come in a couple times before we cut the record to learn the parts. They are pretty simple. We can work around your schedule, and it would probably be over break anyway." He said. I was intrigued. I needed to follow my dream just as much as Ethan gets to follow his. I needed a creative outlet and the thought of being on an album sounded amazing.

"You know what? Why not. That sounds really fun." I smiled at James.

"Great! I'll let you know when it's coming up. It should be fun." James said. We smiled at each other, but my smile faded as I saw some commotion outside. Someone was approaching the door with some sort of Spartan costume on. As he got closer, though, I realized it was two someones. Another guy followed behind, holding a camera to capture the moment. Ethan was coming here, right now, in a spartan uniform. It must be for losing a challenge.

One side of me immediately panicked that he would see me with James. The other half reminded myself that I was not on a date and that I was allowed to hang out with whoever I wanted. Ethan was busy, so I made other friends. It didn't matter if they were boys or girls, they were friends. I was always better at hanging out with boys anyway, Michael was proof of that. I stayed in my seat. I had no reason to hide. Ethan and I hadn't made plans. We barely even talked this morning.

He opened the door, Grayson just behind him, and walked up to the counter. He ordered a venti pink drink. Yep, this was for losing a challenge for sure. Grayson laughed at him as he waited for his drink. Ethan didn't even notice me. I almost wanted him to. I wanted his attention like I had when we first started dating. Out of his embarrassment, he avoided looking around, though. I continued talking to James so he wouldn't notice I was on edge. After a few minutes, Ethan and Grayson left as if I had never even been there. My coffee was gone, so I told James I had to get home but that I would text him soon.

The walk home felt way longer than the walk there. I blasted music in my headphones and sent a text to Ethan. "Can we please hang out soon?" I asked. I wasn't trying to annoy him, but I was tired of only dating him through text messages.

"I'm doing my best." He seemed annoyed. _So am I._

"What happened to you wanting to spend every minute with me?" I couldn't stop my thoughts now. "I just hung out with a guy from school named James. He's really nice. He actually asks me about my day and works around his busy schedule to see me. But he isn't my boyfriend, you are. I talk to your fans more than I talk to you." Maybe I was a little harsh and shouldn't have brought up James, but I was flushed with anger and hurt.

"I do care about your day and I see you when I can. I have to film these videos, what do you want me to do?" He said. I looked up from my phone to see Ethan and Grayson across the street. Ethan had changed back into his normal clothes and he and Grayson were with a couple friends having lunch. After he sent a text, he looked back up and laughed at a joke one of them said. I guess I wasn't the only one who hung out with other people. _If we aren't even making time for each other, why are we together? Maybe dating a youtuber isn't all it's cut out to be._ I was about to storm over to him and ruin his lunch when I felt a drop of water fall from the sky and hit my face. I looked up, Rain began to fall lightly all around me. I breathed in deeply.

 _Rain._ I thought back to when I first met Ethan. It all started with rain. Did this mean it was all supposed to end with rain. _No._ I didn't want it to end, I was just frustrated. I held out my hands and felt the rain slowly dampen my shirt and hair. Ethan had saved me that night. If it weren't for the rain bringing me to him, I don't know if I would have left the beach that night. It wasn't easy right now, but Ethan was my best friend. He had done so much for me. It wasn't his fault he was busy. I couldn't be mad at him for keeping his fans happy. That was his whole world.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just miss you. You're my best friend. Can I come over tonight? I'm sorry." I hit send and headed home before he spotted me standing across the street. I enjoyed the walk in the rain.

"Yes, I'll pick you up later." He replied. _Finally._ I changed into dry clothes when I got home and killed time until Ethan showed up. I ran to the door and pulled it open, leaping into his arms. He seemed surprised, but untensed after a second and held me tight. He missed me too.

"I missed you so much" I told him as he set me down. He smiled and kissed me.

"I missed you too, Vi. Always. I'm sorry it's been so crazy lately. I'll make more time, okay?" He said. I hugged him again.

"Okay, Ethan." I spent the night at his house that night and slept like a baby for the first time in months. Ethan saved me twice now. I was just glad to be in his arms again. When I woke up, I checked twitter and started liking people's tweets to me. I was glad to see their support now. Ethan woke up a few minutes later and turned me around so he could kiss me.

"Ugh, morning breath, Ethan!" I shouted. He just laughed and kissed me anyway. I wasn't even mad. "Can we go get breakfast?" I asked. He looked back at me, excited.

"You know what the means!" He said.

"PANCAKES!" We shouted in unison. That, of course, woke up Grayson too. He insisted we let him come too, so the three of us went to get breakfast together. _Looks like everything is back to normal,_ I thought. Oh, how wrong I was.


	11. Grayson's Girl

A few months ago, Grayson opened up to me about a girl he really liked and wanted to date but he wasn't sure how his fans would feel about it. I told him his fans would love him no matter what and that he deserved to be happy- and I really meant it. Since then, he had begun a sort of on again- off again thing with this girl that I had yet to meet. Her name was Rachel, and Ethan said she seemed really cool the couple times he had met her. I was just glad Grayson was happy. However, it wasn't an official relationship yet, so Grayson had decided not to go public yet and to be really sneaky about seeing her.

"You really should meet her." Grayson said, smiling. "It's finally starting to go really well now that she is back in LA, and I think you guys would get along really well. Plus, if you don't mind, you could help her manage all the stuff with fans when I tell them. She already has a lot of instagram and twitter followers, but you know how the fandom is. I don't want them to attack her." He said. I smiled and agreed.

"Sure! Ethan said she is really cool, I have been wondering when we would meet anyway." I said. I hoped she was as amazing as Grayson deserved. He was one of the most genuinely kind people I had ever met. He deserved someone he could have fun with every day.

"Actually, she's coming over later today, do you want to stick around? Ethan is running some errands for videos while I edit, but you can stay and study or play any game you want." He offered. I had come over earlier to bring Ethan and Grayson some surprise coffee, and stayed to make them breakfast. I had planned on going back to my apartment to study, but I had no plans.

"That's sounds great, actually. I'll study for a while and then find something to do." I said. Grayson smiled and then went to his room to start editing. I worked on an essay I had due soon for a couple hours until I couldn't edit any more. There were only so many ways you could rearrange sentences so many times before it all seemed the same. I got up to make some lunch for Grayson and I. I figured he must be getting hungry while he worked on those videos. I looked in their fridge and tried to decide what I could make. They had some chicken breasts and veggies, so I put a couple pieces of chicken in the oven and got them cooking while I prepared the rest of the meal.

Once the chicken was done, I topped it with some pesto, mozzarella, and fried cherry tomatoes. On the side, I just heated up a mix of frozen veggies a slice of bread. I put it all on the plate and carried it into Grayson, who was so focused he almost didn't notice me walk in. I set the plate next to him and he looked up at me with an appreciative smile.

"Did you make this?!" He asked.

"Yep, I did my best with what you guys had."I replied. "I hope you like it. I figured you'd be getting hungry." He gave me a big smile.

"It looks amazing, Vi. Thank you so much! Please stay and make us food forever. Ethan would probably appreciate it, he hates my cooking." I laughed.

"I'll think about it." I said, leaving the room. Now that I was all fed and my assignments were done enough for today, I sat in front of their tv and looked through their games. For guys that almost never had extra time, they had a lot of games. Since it was just me playing and it was the middle of the day, I chose Until Dawn. Something a little scary never hurt anyone. I popped in the disc and began what I thought would be a couple hours of fun until Ethan got home, but turned into an unhealthy addiction and me ignoring Ethan to play late into the night. I rarely played video games, but this one was too good to put down.

At one point, Grayson came out of his room when he finished editing to put his plate in the dishwasher. He found an on edge Viola sitting on the couch with her hair thrown up into a messy bun, too focused to acknowledge him. He laughed, and I jumped, which made him laugh more. I hit pause.

"Jesus, Grayson. I'm playing a scary game!" He cracked up now.

"We never got around to playing that one, how is it?" He asked.

"It's really good, I don't think I can leave until I finish it." I said. He came and sat down next to me and watched as I played. I explained the story he had missed to him so when there was a big decision to make, I could pause it and he could help me decide. By the time Ethan got home, we were both sucked into the story and absorbed into the screen. The music picked up as Ethan opened the door, so I didn't hear his key turn in the door. However, I did see the door open and a face emerge from the hall into the shadowy living room. I screamed without thinking and paused the game to jump up off the couch.

Ethan died laughing, and so did Grayson, though he had jumped at Ethan too. "What are you guys doing?" He was still laughing. I tried to slow my breath.

"I decided to just stay over, and Gray suggested I play a game, so I chose Until Dawn and I may or may not have been playing it since this morning…." I explained. Ethan came over and gave me a big to apologize for scaring me.

"Well, I brought dinner if you want some." He said. I noticed that my stomach was growling.

"Yeah, a break is probably a good idea." I said, sheepish. I devoured my meal faster than Ethan and Grayson. Being scared worked up an appetite, apparently. Grayson put on some music and we all had a dance party to calm my nerves before returning to the game. I had already killed two people and I knew the game was only going to get harder. Ethan grabbed the biggest, fluffiest blanket they had and wrapped it around me before we sat on the couch. I sat in the middle, leaning against Ethan. Grayson kept grabbing my arms and legs to scare me, which made me mess up.

"Grayson Bailey Dolan, if you don't stop grabbing me, I never make you delicious food again!" I glared at him. He was gonna make me lose another character. He backed off after that. Hah. I showed him. It was around midnight when I finally finished the game. Somehow, I saved about half the people, but it wasn't easy. I was proud of that for going in blind, though. Grayson had fallen asleep looking at his phone, but Ethan stayed up with me for moral support. I snuggled closer to him as the credits rolled.

"I love you, Ethan." I said. He smiled.

"I love you too, Vi." Ethan kissed me, then helped me collect all my stuff to take me home. I had class tomorrow, so it was better if I went to my own apartment. Besides, I was paying for it, I should probably stay there occasionally. Ethan kissed me after he walked me to the door and wished me good night. I fell asleep soon after, but woke up a few times from nightmares. Maybe a horror game was a bad idea.

The next morning, classes went by pretty quickly. I had lunch with James and we discussed the vocals I would have on his track. I had to admit, his music wasn't bad. I was pretty excited to sing again. I missed taking choir in high school, it was a good creative outlet. After classes, I got a text from Ethan asking if I wanted to get dinner with Grayson and his girlfriend.

"Double date?" I asked with a winky face.

"Up for it?" He asked.

"Sounds good to me. Anywhere there's food or you, I'm happy." I said.

"Hah. Well, there will be both me and food, so you're in luck." He knew what I liked.

"Okay, well let me know when you're gonna pick me up." I said, then headed home to watch some netflix. I didn't know how long l had, so I just put on an episode of The Office and waited for Ethan to text me. I didn't feel like dressing up, so I decided to stick with my ripped jeans and the "1-800-DOLANTWINS" sweatshirt I had stolen from Ethan's closet. We had been dating a few months, I didn't have to dress up for every date anymore.

"Ready to go?" Ethan texted me.

"Always." I said. A few minutes later, I heard his car pull up, so I met him outside. We met Grayson and Rachel at an italian restaurant for dinner. When she got out of the car, she certainly didn't look like the kind of girl who ate carbs. Her hair was perfectly curled, and her face was perfectly contoured. The red dress she wore didn't leave a single piece of her to the imagination. I guess Grayson liked girls who showed it all off. She walked over and shook my hand.

"Hey Viola, I'm Rachel. Nice to meet you." She said. She seemed nice so far, but something about her gave me a bad feeling. Maybe it was just me being too judgemental.

"Nice to meet you too. I've been hearing a lot about you from Ethan and Grayson." I smiled. We all walked inside and sat down at a table with menus. I chatted politely with Rachel until the waiter took our order. I ordered fettuccine alfredo and I got the sense that Rachel judged me for it, though she didn't say anything. _Okay, calm down, Vi. You just met her, she is not judging you. If she wasn't nice, Grayson would be able to see through it._ Rachel ordered roasted chicken and a salad with sauce on the side. _Called it._

Dinner went pretty well. Ethan and Grayson dominated the conversation, which was a relief to me. I didn't have anything in common with Rachel, so I wasn't sure what to say to her. The few comments she made seemed normal enough. She talked about herself mostly, but that was probably for Ethan and I to get to know her better. Overall, it went off without a hitch and it was an enjoyable dinner out. Afterwards, we decided to go to the boy's apartment and watch a movie. However, they hadn't planned on it and Grayson wanted to go clean things up a bit first since she had never been over there before. Somehow, Ethan ended up giving me his car to take Rachel to her apartment so she could change out of her dress into something more comfortable and they could go straighten up in the meantime. I kissed Ethan goodbye and climbed into the driver's side.

I pressed the start button on the dash and tried to think of something to say to Rachel, who was already on her phone, to make it less awkward. "So Rachel, how did you and Grayson meet?" I asked. She didn't look up from her phone.

"On instagram. He liked one of my photos, so followed him and then he slid into my dms." I laughed.

"Ah, so the modern love story. How romantic." I said. She shrugged. _Wow, this girl is really not interested in becoming friends._ I pressed on with another question. "So are you from LA?"

"No. Denver." She said, still typing. I just turned the radio on after that and focused on the music the rest of the way. The way she acted just around me compared to the way she acted around Grayson just wasn't right. I hoped Grayson knew what he was getting into. I was relieved when we go to the twins' apartment so I could get away from Rachel. She was reallys started to get on my nerves.

I immediately went up to Ethan, exchanged a quick look that meant "We need to talk later" and then sat down next to him. I made Grayson sit next to me so Rachel was on his other side. We all watched a movie together, but I spent the whole time interacting with fans on twitter and I may or may not have posted a few cryptic tweets about the whole thing. I disguised them to be about people at school so Grayson wouldn't suspect. Ethan could tell I was wary about something, so he kept making weird faces at me throughout the movie, which made me laugh. My laughter, of course, seemed to annoy Rachel.

When we were heading out, I had a minute alone with Grayson, so he asked what thought of her. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought, so I said she was great. _Maybe she was just having a bad day?_ I doubted it. But I needed to investigate further before I brought it up to Grayson. He knew her better, after all. Ethan drove me home and agreed to come inside and spend some alone time with me. Let's just say all thoughts of Rachel left my mind for a while. Or more than a while… in fact, he ended up falling asleep and my house where we both got a blissful night of sleep. I would talk to Ethan about my thoughts on Rachel in the morning. He would know what to do.


	12. I Get My First Tattoo

I woke up at an ungodly early hour. Even though I was comfortable next to Ethan, I could seem to fall back to sleep. Instead, I grabbed my phone and took to the internet to find out what I could about Rachel. It was easy to find her on twitter and instagram- she had around half a million followers on each. Her instagram photos looked like any other instagram model's- showing off how pretty she was and cleverly placing products for ad money. I didn't blame her. She wasn't only taking advantage of what she was good at.

Her twitter was more concerning to me. It wasn't that she said anything blatantly bad, but she didn't exactly say good things either. She tweeted a lot about how to reel in guys using your looks and having fun with them. This wasn't a girl that wanted to be in a serious relationship. In fact, I doubted she wanted to be with just one person at all. It wasn't my style but I couldn't rule out Grayson just wanting to have fun too. It was entirely possible that he was aware of who she was and didn't want to be in a relationship either. However, from what he had told me about wanting to introduce her to his fans, it seemed he liked her a lot.

 _What am I supposed to do? I want Grayson to be happy and for now, Rachel does make him happy. Then again, he may get hurt really badly later on if I don't speak up now and tell him my real impression of her. And what if I was totally wrong about Rachel and Ethan was angry at me for meddling where I didn't belong?_ I thought for a while about all the ways this could go. In the end, I decided I would stick to honesty. It had worked for me so far and it was generally better to stick to the truth. I just had to find the right time and place to bring it up to either Ethan or Grayson.

Eventually, I fell back to sleep for a while. The bed was a little cold, so I fluttered my eyes open and looked around, but Ethan was nowhere to be seen. I slipped on some shorts and a tshirt to see if he was in the living room. He was pacing around my living room on the phone, very focused. I couldn't tell who he was talking to, but he seemed really stressed out. I went over to him and hugged him from behind as he finished his phone call. He seemed to relax a little bit from that. It took him a while to finish his conversation, but afterwards he turned around and hugged me properly.

"Good morning." He said, kissing the top of my head.

"Morning, Ethan." I smiled at him. "I'm sad I missed your morning voice."

"I know, I'm sorry. That was my mom. I am just so stressed about videos and life and everything right now. I need to get out of LA. But I don't want to leave you and there is so much stuff going on soon that Gray and I can't miss." He said.

"Why can't you miss it? There will be more stuff. You need a break. And I will be here when you get back. You work too hard." I kissed him and started to rub his back. _Besides, if they went to New Jersey for a while, it would give me time to decide what to do about Rachel and maybe even talk to her alone and figure out her intentions._

"Well you know the fans look forward to us being part of certain things. And we need to take whatever opportunities we can." Ethan said. I looked at him straight in the eyes.

"Ethan. You and Grayson do enough. You need a break. If you get burned out, you won't make good content. You are doing amazing already. You can't do everything. You need to be healthy and happy to set a good example for your fans." I kissed him again and he nodded.

"Okay. You're right. Maybe I will talk to Grayson about it today." He kissed me again and then jokingly picked me up bridal style to the kitchen where we made breakfast together. We made pancakes and bacon along with some coffee and sat down to eat together. Ethan seemed a little perkier than usual, so I didn't want to bring up Rachel and ruin his day. "This is nice. We should do this more often." He said. I smiled at him.

"Let's do something fun today. I only have one class this morning. It's been a while since we went on an adventure." I said.

"Sure, got anything in mind?" He asked. I went with the first thing that popped into my head.

"Let's get tattoos. I've never gotten one before." His eyes lit up.

"Are you serious? Do you even know what you want?" He asked.

"Nope, but I can figure something out." He laughed.

"You're amazing. I'll call Romeo and see if he has some time today." He took me to my class and told me he would text me about the tattoos later. I was excited but a little nervous. This would be on my body forever, so I needed to choose something that would last. I decided to just go with whatever felt right and go for it. If nothing else, it would be a great memory.

Class flew by, because I tried to decide what to get tattooed the whole time instead of paying attention. By the end of class, I still had no idea and I was beginning to question the whole idea altogether. I knew how excited Ethan was, though, so I sat down at an empty corner of the commons and put in my headphones. I opened up my classical music playlist for studying and thought about what was important in my life. I didn't want a tattoo that meant nothing to me. Family was certainly important, but I wasn't sure where to go with that. I loved a lot of books since I was an English major, but I was too pressed for time to choose the perfect words. There were so many that I loved and if I got words, they had to be perfect. All I could think of was that beautiful sunset the night I met Ethan. It reminded me of Michael.

Since this was all last minute, I wanted to make it as simple as I could. I wasn't sure how much time we would have to get them done. I decided I would get a very simple outline of the beach with the silhouette of a girl looking out at the sunset. It would be a memory of that special moment and a way to remember Michael. It made me happy to think that I would have a way to remember him always.

Ethan picked me up about an hour later, and luckily by then I had managed to calm my nerves a little. He pulled up with a big smile on his face. I was so happy to see his real smile. Nothing made me happier than that big smile nowadays.

"You ready? Do you have something picked out?" He asked. I smiled at him.

"Yes, actually. I think I do. And I really like it. I hope Romeo wasn't too annoyed that it was so last minute." I said. I really hated annoying people. He smiled.

"Don't worry, we are friends and it's a slow day. He said he didn't mind." That made me feel a little better.

"What are you gonna get, E?" I asked. He already had several tattoos, and I knew he went more on feeling than logic for tattoos, so I imagined he didn't have a hard time choosing.

"I am gonna get a little camera, I think. Probably above my animal tattoo." He said. It made sense, the camera was such a big part of his life. It went with the idea of his "create" tattoo. I loved how creative Ethan was. I truly admired the fact that he just wanted to share his creations with the world and took the time to find unique ways of looking at things.

"I like that. It goes with your create tattoo." I said.

"I'm surprised you know about that. I haven't shown you." He said. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Ethan, it's called google. Also, you would not believe the kind of insider info I have gleaned from your fans. It's amazing what they find. Also- you posted it on instagram." He laughed.

"Okay, fair enough. What are you gonna get?" He asked. I hoped he didn't think it was dumb.

"Actually, I wanted to get a sunset. Probably on my ankle. And a little silhouette of myself and Michael sitting in the waves. To remember Michael. I want to remember how I felt in that moment. It was like-" I felt a couple tears start to escape my eyes. "It was like he was the sunset and the waves and I was just melting into them. I wanted to just lay back and let the water wash over me. It was like, for a moment that phone call from my mom never happened and he was right there with me. And then, of course, you and Grayson came and stopped me from doing anything stupid. I don't know, maybe it's a silly idea." Ethan immediately grabbed my hand and turned my face toward his.

"It's not stupid. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, because it's your tattoo. But for the record, I think it's a beautiful idea." He kissed me and gave me a comforting smile. I smiled back. I replied simply with "okay" and then we headed over to Romeo's studio. I got a little jittery as we walked inside, so Ethan took my hand and squeezed it. He didn't even need words to make me feel better. He gave Romeo a bro hug when we got inside and greeted him.

"Romeo, what's up man? Thanks for letting us come in last minute." He said.

"Hey, no problem. I'm always happy to have you and Grayson around."He said. Romeo seemed pretty chill, but I was little intimidated by a guy with so many tattoos in real life. I kept it casual, though. "You must be Ethan's new girl." Romeo said.

"That's me." I said, playing it cool. "I'm Viola." He shook my hand.

"Cool name, don't hear that one very often." He said. "So what are we looking to get?"

"I want to get a camera on my ankle. It shouldn't take long, but this is actually Viola's first tattoo so you may need to bear with her a bit." I smiled at Ethan appreciatively.

"Really, a first tattoo? Well, I'm honored." He smiled. "What were you thinking of getting?" He said. I explained my idea and he nodded as I did. "Cool, I dig it. Give me a few to draw up some concept sketches and we'll see how you like them." He said. Ethan smiled and nodded at him and we went to sit down together while Romeo sketched. I looked at Ethan to show my nerves. He enveloped my in arms and told me it would be okay.

"I will hold you hand the whole time, I promise." He told me. I smiled.

"I'm glad I have you to adventure with." I said. "I would never do this if you weren't there to encourage me." I leaned my head on his shoulder until Romeo came over with the sketches. Ethan's was a simple camera in black outline, and it looked really cool. My jaw dropped when Romeo handed me mine. It was painted in dreamy reds and oranges with two friends sitting in the surf, their legs overtaken by the foamy waves. I held back my tears.

"This is even better than I imagined. I love it, it's perfect. It means so much to me." Romeo smiled.

"Great, let's get started then." Ethan went first so I could see exactly what happened. It didn't look too bad. When it was my turn, I was no longer nervous. I did flinch a little at the pain, but Ethan held my hand like he promised and the time went by quickly. It looked amazing when it was finished. I was happy to have the memory be a part of me. We thanked Romeo and paid for the tattoos then headed out to Ethan's car.

I let go of his hand and skipped and span around on the way to his car. I felt like singing. Somehow, by finding a way to commemorate that moment, it had set me free. I felt light as air. Ethan laughed as he watched me skip around the parking lot. I ran up to him and jumped into his arms for a big hug.

"I'm guessing you enjoyed that?" Ethan said, holding me tight.

"I feel free as a bird!" I said. "I'm so hungry though, can we get cheese fries and milkshakes?" I asked. He set me down and shook his head.

"You are lots of things, but predictable isn't one of them." He said.

"Good. Predictable is boring." I said. We found a little diner and ordered our food and milkshakes. I got vanilla and Ethan got strawberry. I put a little dollop of whipped cream on my nose and made a sexy face at Ethan when the shakes came. He did the same and made a goofy face at me. We both laughed. Then our fries came and the waitress asked if we needed anything else.

"Can we get some ketchup?" Ethan asked her.

"Ooh, and some mayo please." I said. She left and Ethan glared at me. I forgot how much he hated mayo.

"Ketchup is gross." I said. He looked even more shocked, playfully putting his hand on his chest.

"I cannot believe I am dating you right now. Are you gonna dip your fries in mayonnaise?" He fake gagged.

"I'm german, what can I say?" He shook his head.

"Well, keep it away from me." He said. I laughed.

"Yeah. yeah." I said. "You love me anyway." I challenged.

"I hate to admit it, but yes. You're lucky I already loved you." He said. I laughed.

"I am pretty lucky, yes. Even if you use ketchup. Everything else about you is pretty great." I said. He blushed a little and bit his lip. _Man, I'm lucky._ "Today has been amazing. Thank you, Ethan. I don't mean to get ahead of myself, but a life adventuring with you wouldn't be so bad." I said. He grinned at me.

"Yeah, I can't say I would mind that." He said. I imagined having a little house somewhere in nature, out of the way with Ethan. We could take walks in the woods together and build a nice, comfortable home to eventually have kids and grow up together. I could finish college and work a teacher and he and Grayson could create a company together. We could go on hikes and help improve our world together. It seemed like a happy life to me. I smiled at Ethan, wondering if he was thinking about the same things I was.

"We don't have to think about that yet. I'm just happy I'm with you now. I love you, Ethan Dolan." I said.

"I love you too, Viola Richards." He said. We left the diner and Ethan took me home. I had classes the next day, so I went to bed early that night. The next morning, Ethan texted me saying he and Gray were going to New Jersey for a week the next day. I was glad, he needed a break. I asked Grayson as casually as I could for Rachel's number, claiming I just wanted to hang out while they were gone. Hopefully, I could get her to meet me somewhere so I could find out the truth about her. Meanwhile, Grayson and Ethan could recharge. I could take care of things for a while.


	13. The Truth Comes Out

Ethan talked to Grayson about leaving for New Jersey to clear their heads and they decided to leave the city just two days later. I hadn't anticipated they would leave that quickly, but it was the middle of the semester and I was bogged down with work and classes anyway. Sure, I'd miss Ethan but it was only for ten days and I knew how much he needed it. Plus, I figured it would take a couple tries to really see through Rachel and figure out what her motive was. Since he had picked me up from the airport so sweetly not that long ago, I met Ethan at the airport while he thought I was in class to see him off.

He was waiting in the terminal for Grayson to get their tickets when I came up behind him. "Ethan Dolan, is that you?! Can I get an autograph?!" I scream whispered. He jumped and turned around, expecting a fan. His eyes grew large in excitement when he saw me.

"Viola! What are you doing here? I thought you had class." He gave me a big hug, which I returned. I kissed his chin before backing away so I could look at him while I spoke.

"I may have lied a little bit to surprise you." I said. "I just wanted to see you one more time before you left. I am gonna miss you, you know." I put my arms around him, taking in his smell and warmth while I could. It really would suck not having him around.

"Well I'm surprised! I'll miss you too. But don't worry, it's only ten days. And who knows? Maybe someday you'll be coming to Jersey with me." I shuddered a little at the romantic way he said it. I sure hoped so. I bit my lip instead of replying, but he still knew how I felt. He hugged me tightly and then Grayson came up with the tickets in hand.

"Hey, Viola. Thanks for seeing us off." I gave Grayson a big hug too. I had a sinking feeling that he might need it soon. Besides, he gave the best hugs.

"You two have fun and relax, okay? That's your only responsibility." They smiled and nodded, then I gave Ethan one more kiss before they headed through security. It was gonna be a long ten days.

Ethan and I texted every day, though not all the time since he was busy exploring with Gray and spending time with his family and friends. I wasn't mad, I just missed him and wondered what he was doing. I had made a little ground with Rachel, though. We had texted a little until I figured out what she liked and used it to my advantage to hang out with her. Basically, she ran on compliments. All I had to do was act like an adoring fan and she agreed to get coffee. The third day the twins were gone, I met her for coffee after my class.

"Hey, Rachel. Thanks for meeting up with me. I think Grayson and Ethan would like if we became friends." I said, sitting down at a table with her. She smiled shallowly.

"Oh, absolutely. There's always time for coffee, right?" She said. I nodded.

"True that. Especially in college." I said. "So tell me about yourself? Did you move to LA to work on your social media presence or are you from here?" I asked. I really didn't know much about this girl, a bio could only tell you so much.

"I'm just here in LA to meet guys and gain followers, basically. And go to the beach, of course. Plus everyone knows LA has the best parties." She said, looking more at her coffee than me. The way she tapped her freshly manicured nails on the rim of her cup drove me crazy.

"That's cool, so you're a party girl, then. There are some pretty great ragers at UCLA. You'll have to go with me sometime. Lots of cute frat boys and free alcohol." I said. Maybe my trap was too obvious, but I wanted to see if she would fall for it. She hesitated for a second.

"Why would I want frat boys when I have Grayson Dolan? And I can get free alcohol anywhere. You just need the right dress." She said. Okay, so maybe she was shallow. That wasn't a crime. She didn't admit to wanting to cheat, though. I still wasn't convinced she actually liked Grayson, though. I fake laughed at her comment.

"True, the Dolan twins are hard to beat. Plus they have millions of followers. You'd be the envy of all their fangirls if you dated them, right?" Maybe she was in it for the follower boost.

"Hey, no followers are bad followers, right? Jake Paul might have haters, but those haters got him ten million subscribers." I couldn't disagree with her logic.

"Yeah, but I don't want the fans to hate me. In fact, they're all pretty great. I have talked to a lot of them since Ethan and I went public and they have become my friends in a way. Do you ever talk to your followers, Rachel?" How she treated her own fans would be a reflection of how she was likely to treat Ethan and Grayson's fans.

"I mean, occasionally. I don't have nearly as many and Ethan and Grayson, but sometimes they give me opportunities. And you have to interact with fans to get your name out there. At the end of the day, they're the ones who tell other people about you." Rachel said. She was definitely right, but there was no affection for her fans like there was for Ethan and Grayson. Every time they talked about their fans, they talked about how funny they were and how they owed everything to them. I doubted Rachel cared about who followed her at all, as long as people did.

"So why are you dating Grayson? Is it his smile? His goofiness? Maybe you liked his personality in his vines?" I asked. In my opinion, you should date someone because you actually like them. And from what I could tell, Grayson really did like Rachel.

"Well all of the above, of course. I actually didn't know about him until Logan Paul mentioned him in his disstrack. I looked him up and thought he was really hot. I figured we would make a cute couple." She said. That said nothing about who he really was. Did she even care?

"So… you're dating him…. because he's hot." I repeated.

"Why are you dating Ethan? Is it because you like who he is or because some hot internet star deigned to look at you?" She said. I sat with my mouth agape for a moment. This girl had nerve. She certainly wasn't what she pretended to be around Ethan and Grayson.

"I do love Ethan for who he is. And Grayson. If all you see in Gray is his looks, you haven't even bothered to get to know him. He's smart and funny and creative and kind. Traits you obviously don't possess." I said, standing up. She stood in my path.

"I'm not stupid. I know why you invited me here. Grayson won't believe you. I have him wrapped around my little finger. We're gonna be a power couple, I am gonna become famous and then I can leave him behind." She said. _Oh, we'll see about that. Ethan and Grayson know who I am. Get ready to be exposed, girly._ I left the cafe angrily. I wasn't mad at Rachel. I was mad that Grayson had found someone who made him happy and she was totally fake. He didn't deserve that. _Fuck her for doing this to Grayson._

"Hey E. I hope Jersey is amazing. I can't wait to see you and Grayson again. Enjoy every moment. Love you." I said. I wanted them to enjoy the peace, this could wait a few more days.

"Hey Vi. I needed this so badly. Gray and I are having the best time. I miss you, though. And Gray misses Rachel. I think we'll be ready to face LA again soon. Love you too." _She doesn't deserve for you to miss her, Gray._ I went to the beach to walk around and let off some steam. It was the evening now and the sun was beginning to sink into the horizon. I couldn't be mad while looking at something so beautiful. I looked at my still healing tattoo. It really did look like an LA sunset. I found the place where Grayson and Ethan had found me.

It was odd, but I felt like it was all about to come full circle. Ethan was my boyfriend but as I recall, Grayson was the first one to come up to me that night and give me a hug. It was my turn to save Grayson. I just hoped he trusted me enough to believe me. I cared just as much about Grayson as I did about Ethan. I wasn't going to let him get hurt if I knew I could stop it.

I went home after the sun set and went to bed as soon as I laid down. It had been a long day and I felt like I was getting sick. If there was anything that prevented sickness, it was a good night's sleep. And a good night's sleep it was.

The rest of the week went by quickly. Every time Rachel posted a new photo, I scrolled past it, annoyed. I didn't even want to see her face. It made me sick that she could use such a sweet person. Ethan told me about four wheeling, hiking, and late night fun in New Jersey. It seemed like this was just the thing they needed. Boy, was I ready for them to be home, though. Finally, it was Saturday and they were arriving at noon. I went to Ethan's apartment and got his car so he could drive us all back to his place. I drove very carefully on the way there. LA traffic was still a little overwhelming to me and Ethan's car was way too expensive for me to fix.

I waited anxiously at the gate for them to walk out and hug me. It was about five minutes past twelve and they were bound to walk out any second when a figure emerged next to me. A girl with long blonde hair and very short shorts with a tank top and no bra underneath. _Rachel. Shit. I was going to tell Grayson when we got home. Now what was I gonna do? She would play innocent if she was there and I told him. I would look like a total jerk. If she bugs me too much, I may just have to risk that. If Ethan and Grayson don't believe me, I would rather they knew the truth than hide it and hurt Grayson. It would hurt, but they would realize eventually. If not, I would feel better knowing I told the truth._

I gave her a look out of the corner of my eye, which she returned. We both smiled when Ethan and Grayson turned the corner and headed toward us. They looked so much happier than when they left, and even happier to see us. I made sure Ethan wouldn't notice my agitation. "Hey, E" I said, tiptoeing to kiss him. He scooped me up and kissed me.

"Hey, Vi." He said. Man, I missed his voice. I eyed Grayson hugging Rachel, who glared at me over his shoulder. Ethan didn't notice. "Well, let's get going, then." We all walked out together, and pooled into the car. Luckily, Grayson wanted to sit next to Rachel so I didn't have to. I held Ethan's hand as he drove. At least I had that for comfort.

Rachel and Grayson sat on the couch when we got to their apartment, and Ethan pulled me straight to his bedroom. He closed the door quickly and immediately began feeling me up and kissing me against the door. I had a chance to tell him about Rachel, but he was being very distracting. His hands on my body were hard to ignore. "Ethan, I have someone to tell you." I said. He just mumbled and continued kissing me, moving from my lips to my neck. "Uh, Ethan. I'm- I'm serious." I said.

"Mhm, it can wait." he said. When he picked me up, I gave up. I couldn't focus on my own words anymore. He put me down on the bed and continued kissing me. Yep, not gonna happen right now. I just let it be and spent some time with Ethan instead. After a while, we decided to go join Grayson and Rachel to watch a movie. I ended up sitting next to Rachel on the couch, with Ethan and Grayson on the ends. For a while, it all went smoothly. Then we started to talk.

"So what did you two do while we were gone? I heard you went for coffee." Grayson asked. Rachel looked at me with fake sweetness.

"Oh, yeah. It was great. Vi and I really got to know each other." she said.

"Yeah. I know all about her now." I said.

"That's great! I knew you two would get along." Grayson said. "You're both so nice." _How was she nice? She really had him fooled._

"Did you give her advice about the fans, Viola?" Ethan asked. I gritted my teeth. _She doesn't give a shit about your fans, or hers._

"Oh, I think she's got it figured out." I replied shortly. The less I said, the better.

"Yeah, I already have quite a few followers as it is, and they are like my best friends. I hope yours can be too." She said. _Okay, that was just a straight up lie. Enough._

"Okay, no. That's enough." I stood up. "Grayson, Rachel isn't who you think she is." Grayson looked shocked and confused.

"What are you talking about, Vi?" Ethan said, trying to get me to sit down. I brushed him off. I hated being rude to Ethan, but he needed to listen right now.

"Rachel doesn't care about you, Grayson. I could tell from the moment I met her. She doesn't act the same around me that she does around you. She only cares about becoming famous. She doesn't know anything about you or care who you are." I let my tears escape. I was so mad, I couldn't hold them back. "She even told me all this. All she cares about is that you're hot. Not your brain, or talent, or kindness, or humor. I hate to see someone use you and hurt you because you're my friend." I said. Grayson looked mad now and Ethan looked skeptical. _Awesome._

"Viola, I respect your opinion but I think I know Rachel. We have talked for months. That a lot of judgements to make about a person. I can't believe you would say all those things about her. You barely know her." Grayson said. He was clearly holding back although he was really upset. He still had his arm around her. I looked at Ethan, but he didn't meet my eyes. My heart sank. _At least I told the truth._ I stormed out, grabbing my purse on the way. I started running down the street to my apartment.

Someone ran up behind me, trying to catch up with me. I looked back, and it was Ethan. "Leave me alone!" I yelled, picking up the pace. He was much faster than I was, and easily caught up to stop me. I tried to get away, but he was also much stronger. He held me in place, then pulled me into my arms.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. It's just me. Vi, please. I just want to talk. I believe you. I had a bad feeling about Rachel too." I stopped. _He believed me._ I cried more.

"You believe me?" I asked. He nodded. I relaxed and wiped away my tears. I put my arms around his shoulders. "Thank you for believing me. I love Gray. I don't want him to get hurt if I know I can help. He's important to me now too." I said. He pulled me close again and kissed my forehead.

"I know. That's why I love you. Thank you for looking out for Gray. I'll walk you home." He said. I took his hand and we walked in silence to my apartment. He came inside with me and I asked if he wanted to go home to Grayson. "I think I better leave them to work things out and give Grayson some space." I nodded. It was probably best. He stripped down to his boxers while I put on some pajamas and we climbed in bed. He held me tight as we fell asleep together. I was just glad I had my Ethan back. Hopefully we could help cheer up Grayson tomorrow.


	14. Jersey

I could hear Ethan and Grayson arguing through the door as I approached. I waited to see if they would settle down before I knocked. "No, Ethan! I can't take it any more. I need to be out of LA, I don't want to see the places we went and be reminded!" Ethan began to reply, but Gray cut him off again. "Ethan, I am going home whether you come with me or not!" I could hear him approaching the door to get away, so I quickly knocked before it seemed like I was just spying on them. I mean, I was. They just didn't need to know that. All sound from their apartment ceased and then the door opened.

Grayson was not looking good. His eyes were rimmed red from tears, tiredness, or both. The stubble on his chin showed his disregard for hygiene. Usually he was diligent about shaving, but I didn't blame him for not caring. He seemed to take the break up really rough. I had underestimated how much he cared about Rachel. Nonetheless, I still felt it was right to tell him when I did. It would have been even worse later.

"Hey, Gray." I said. I didn't know if he was mad at me and he was obviously upset, so pleasantries would help. Besides, I was sure he didn't want to be asked how he was. I already knew. His face softened a little.

"Hey, Viola." He replied. That was good enough for now. I didn't want to push him. Instead of more words I just leaned in for a hug. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around me as well and leaned his head against my shoulder. _So he doesn't hate me. I guess it was the right thing, then._ I gave him a smile when we let go and we both walked back inside. I kissed Ethan when I walked up to him and hugged him too. Grayson went to his room so I had a minute to talk to Ethan alone.

"I heard the end of your argument. If you need to go to Jersey again, I can watch your apartment." I offered. It was probably better that Ethan went too. Grayson needed him right now. He thought for a moment.

"You know what? I have a better idea." I furrowed my brows. "Come with us. You can meet our parents. Cameron will still be at school, but you can see where we grew up." It would actually be the perfect time. I had a long weekend coming up for thanksgiving break. Besides, I would love to see where Ethan was from. I was nervous about the parents part, though. All my other boyfriends parents weren't so scary because I had known them and their families their whole lives. This time, I would be flying to meet them. But I could do it for Ethan. And I wanted to be there for Grayson too.

"Okay." I said. Ethan laughed.

"That's it? No questions, no hesitation?" He asked. I smiled.

"Nope." And then I kissed him and he scooped me up to carry me to the couch where we watched The Office for a while.

A few days later, Ethan picked me up in the morning to take me to the airport. I was excited to get out of Los Angeles for a few days. Growing up in a small Alaskan town, I was excited to be around nature and soak in the peace and quiet. I got tired of hearing cars and people outside my window all the time. Grayson was sitting up front already, so I sat in back and made weird faces at Grayson in the mirror the whole time. I even managed to get him to laugh a couple times.

The flights went pretty quickly. Usually I got really cold on planes, but I was in between Ethan and Grayson so I used it to my advantage. I draped the blanket over me and then over their shoulders so the heat they gave off would stay under the blanket. They laughed, but I was proud of my ingenuity. We all watched the movie that they showed on the screen in front of us, which was some romantic comedy. It was horrible, but we laughed anyway. Several hours and many tiny packets of snacks later, we landed in New Jersey.

Before I could even say anything, Ethan told me not to be nervous. "They'll love you, don't worry. They know how great you are with fans and Gray and I have told them all about you. Just be yourself." I smiled at him. Talking about me meeting their parents seemed to remind Grayson that he didn't have a girlfriend so I pretended to drop my stuff the whole way to the car so Grayson could laugh at the weird looks people gave me. Ethan shook his head. _Hey, at least it worked._

Ethan and Grayson's parents were waiting for us by the front doors of the airport. They looked super nice, I don't know what I was so afraid of. Maybe I thought since Ethan and Grayson were so attractive, their parents would be just as intimidating. We walked over to them. I hoped my hair didn't look crazy or anything.

"You must be Violet." Their dad said. "I'm Sean, this is Lisa." Ethan laughed.

"Her name is Viola, not Violet, Dad." He said. Sean made an apologetic face.

"Ah, right. I was just seeing if you were paying attention." Classic dad joke.

"Nice to meet you." I said, shaking their hands. Lisa pulled me in for a hug instead.

"We've heard a lot about you from Ethan." Lisa said. I smiled.

"All good things I hope?" I asked.

"Oh, not quite. Grayson said you're quite the drinker." Sean said. Grayson laughed. I blushed and tried to think of something to say. Sean laughed after trying to hold a straight face. "Butterbeer, that is." He said. _Thank God. Thanks a whole lot, Grayson._

"Oh yeah. I can put those back. Not quite as quickly as Grayson, though. He pretty much went into a coma after we got home." I laughed, and everyone joined in.

"Alright, let's get home. You must all be tired from flying." Lisa said. We all talked casually in the car. Their parents asked about Alaska and my life in school until Ethan just put on the radio. I thanked him silently. All four of them sang along, so I joined in too. _They all sing in the car together?_ I was beginning to love this family already.

Their house was really nice and cozy. They had a big back yard and even a pool. I could imagine how nice their living room looked around Christmas with the tree, decorations, and fireplace blazing. Maybe someday I could see it for myself. Since it was November, the living room was strewn with blankets and fall decorations, though. I felt so happy to be in an actual home in a small town. In the evening, after a delicious homemade dinner, we all played some board games (I chose Clue because it's obviously the best) and then put on Napoleon Dynamite.

After, Ethan and Grayson wanted to show me their favorite spot to watch the sunset. We all bundled up and took their four wheelers out into the woods until we reached a clearing up on a hill with a view of the forest below and sunset in front of us. I cuddled close to Ethan and held Grayson's hand. We watched in silence as the sun drifted below the horizon and the stars revealed themselves above us. I pointed out the few constellations I knew. We all sat there until it got too cold to stay any longer. I loved these boys so much. Ethan made me the happiest girl in the world and Grayson was one of my best friends. I wanted to spend every day adventuring with them.

Ethan showed me their spare room when we got home and kissed me before he headed off to his and Grayson's room. I curled up in the blankets, freezing from outside, but content. I could see why they loved this place. It was beautiful. I fell asleep quickly after that, looking forward to seeing more of their hometown when I woke up.


	15. Hikes and Hot Springs

I woke up the next morning a little sniffly from being so cold the night before but I had slept better than ever in a warm bed with peaceful thoughts in my head. However, the sniffles were the least of my worries. My back and abdomen were sore with sharp pains coming and going. _Awesome. Shit, what if I bled on their spare bed?!_ I pulled the sheets back to check and luckily found the sheets were just fine. My period had definitely started though. _Man, that was lucky._ A headache from the cramps was already starting to form.

I walked to my bags and realized I hadn't thought to pack any tampons. Next, I checked all the spare pockets of my purse to see if I had any stashed away somewhere. I found one singular light tampon. _Great, that'll last._ Since only their Mom lived in the house, I doubted there were extra tampons here so I would need to ask Ethan to drive me to the store. I put on comfy clothes, took some ibuprofen and left the room to find him.

He was sitting at the breakfast bar with Grayson. I rolled my eyes. He wasn't alone but at least his parents weren't there. I walked over to them. "Morning Viola" Grayson said through a mouthful of muffin. Ethan looked up from his phone to smile at me. He looked cute in pajamas. Even more, he looked so content here at home.

"Morning guys." I said, walking over to them but not sitting beside them. Ethan patted the stool beside him.

"Sit down and have some breakfast. We have coffee brewing too."He said. I hesitated.

"Actually, do you mind running me to the store real quick? I forgot something at home." _That was ambiguous enough, right?_ Ethan furrowed his brow.

"Do you need it right now? We can swing by on the way around town." He said. Grayson laughed beside him.

"She's on her period, dude." He said. I blushed. There was nothing to be ashamed about but I wasn't exactly used to asking guys to go get tampons with me. Even Michael didn't do that. Ethan blushed a little too.

"Ah, right. Okay. Let me grab my keys. We could use some more milk anyway." He kissed the top of my head then left the room.

"How did you know that?" I asked Grayson. He smirked.

"I grew up with an older sister. It's hard to ignore when you live with a girl that long." I laughed. That made it less embarrassing somehow. I laughed at myself.

"Right. I kinda forgot that." Ethan emerged from his room and walked over to us then. He took my hand and we went to the store. "Sorry for making you run out to the store so early." I told him. Ethan just glanced over at me.

"It's not a problem. Besides, I would do anything for you." He said. I blushed again. Every time I started getting used to being Ethan's girlfriend, he would say something sweet like that again. I blurted out my next statement before I could stop myself.

"Can I keep you forever?" I asked. I didn't look up to meet his eyes. It felt stupid to say things like that when I hadn't even been with Ethan that long. He pulled over to the side of the road. I looked at him, confused. He took my hands after he put his car in park.

"Viola, you have brought so much joy into my life. I love how I feel with you. Having you here in my hometown makes me so excited for the prospect of a future with you. You fit with my family and in this setting better than any girl I have ever met. You belong here with me.

I never thought I would meet a girl I could love so much who would also fit here in Jersey with my family and be such a great friend to Grayson. I mean, you basically agreed to fly all the way here instead of going home to your family in order to help me cheer up Grayson. You found out about his girlfriend before even I did because you cared about him. I don't know what the future holds, but if my life with you is anything like this, then I hope you stay forever." I teared up a little. Maybe it was all the hormones from my time of the month, but what Ethan said was so special. I just kissed him and leaned against his chest.

"I love you Ethan. I don't know what the future holds either, but I sure wouldn't mind hanging out with you and Gray forever. I love it here." I said. He kissed me again, then turned on the radio as we drove to the store. I grabbed milk and what I needed there, then we headed home. The sun rose as we drove.

Back home, Ethan's parents were up and cooking some bacon and eggs for breakfast. I dropped off my bag with my things and helped them cook. We all had a nice breakfast together, then cleaned up. Ethan and Grayson changed out of their pajamas. I just grabbed a coat and some boots. I wasn't sure what the day's plans were so I figured if I wore layers I would be ready for anything. It looked like Ethan and Grayson dressed similarly, so I felt like it was a good choice. They hugged their parents goodbye then we all got in the car and headed off.

As we drove through town, they pointed out all the places they had gone growing up. Their high school, their favorite restaurants, and their favorite places to hang out. I was from a small town, but this place really had my home town beat. It was beautiful, but I could see why they left as their accounts grew. If people disliked you, there was no starting over with a new group of friends. It was just too small of a town. It didn't matter so much anymore now, though. They knew who they were and chased their dream despite what people said.

We quickly passed out of town and were surrounded by trees and countryside. It made me homesick for Alaska. Anywhere you drove there, you weren't far from being surrounded by wilderness. As soon as you left town, the world was made of trees and mountains as far as the eye could see. I loved that you could do the same thing here. I had missed that when I was in LA. The only thing to see in Los Angeles were buildings.

"It's so beautiful here. It reminds me of Alaska. Maybe not the specific nature, but all you have to do is drive out of town to be surrounded by wilderness. I missed this." Grayson smiled at me in the mirror.

"That's why Ethan and I love it here so much. Nature is only a quick drive away. Actually- not even that. All you have to do is walk out your door." Grayson said. I nodded in agreement.

"Any particular part of nature we are going?" I asked.

"You up for a hike, Vi?" Ethan asked. "I didn't plan on you being on your period when we went on an adventure today. We can just hang out if you aren't up for it." Honestly, I wasn't totally up for it, but I wanted to try. The exercise might help anyway.

"I can handle it. A hike sounds nice." I smiled. It wasn't too intense of a hike anyway. There were some steep inclines but anyone who had gone hiking in Alaska knew how to handle a few inclines. Alaskan mountains were not for the faint of heart. The view from the top was amazing. There was a brilliant array of colorful trees, almost done losing their fall leaves. The valley below was littered with creaks, rolling hills, and green interspersed with autumnal trees. It was the kind of view that made you forget all your problems and worries. I breathed in the fresh air.

"The view is incredible. Someday you guys have to climb a real Alaskan mountain with me. If you think this is great, then Alaska will blow your mind." I said. They smiled at me.

"Are you kidding?! That would be amazing!" Ethan said. "Man, I'm hungry though. Let's eat." He pulled out sandwiches, water, potato salad, and chips from his backpack and we all settled in to eat our meal. I felt grateful for everything in that moment. Although I had lost a best friend that year, I had gained two new ones. I thought of Michael as I ate. We used to hike every summer. He would have loved this place. I smiled at the memory of him. I couldn't possibly be sad with such an amazing sight before me.

The hike down left me with several scrapes from sliding and falling down a few times. I hoped none of them bruised. Ethan and Grayson climbed down like champs. It was clear they had hiked this trail many times. They knew exactly where to step. We laughed the whole way home. It was a perfect day. By the time we got home, it was late afternoon. Dinner wasn't ready yet, so we decided to take a dip in the hot tub while we waited. Luckily, I thought to pack a swimsuit.

The sky was already getting slightly dark, making it even nicer as we sat in the hot tub in the cool evening air. Grayson shivered a little. "It's a little chilly to be in swimsuits outside but why not, right?" I laughed a little too loud, and they just stared at me. I calmed down then apologized.

"Man, you guys would think Alaskans are crazy. There's this place in Fairbanks called Chena Hot Springs and it's a natural hot spring. People go there in the middle of winter when it's like negative thirty or forty degrees at night and go in the hot spring, which is outside. It's a crazy experience. The hot spring it hot, but all the rocks around it are frozen and covered in snow. As soon as you surface, your hair freezes. It's quite an experience." I said. They shook their heads.

"That sounds awesome, horrible, and dangerous all at once." Ethan said. "Where can I sign up?" He laughed. Grayson and I laughed too. We got out after about thirty minutes and went inside to eat dinner. Lisa had made chicken alfredo, one of my favorites. I fell asleep leaning against Ethan as we watched a movie and went to bed as soon as it was over. I never wanted to leave Jersey.


	16. Just the Beginning

It was our last day in Jersey. The whole stay had been even better than I could have imagined. Ethan and Grayson's parents had been unfailingly kind and generous and the days spent outdoors exploring with my boyfriend were ones I would never forget. In fact, most of the days I had with Ethan were ones I would never forget. Even when it was tough, I valued every moment. He had brought me out of my shell and shown me that value in aspects of life I had never thought much of before.

I had always thought that people who pursued social media fame were conceited and couldn't make it academically, athletically, or off of talent. Every day they had taught me just how wrong I was. Ethan and Grayson were smart, athletic, and talented. Even more- they were kind and genuinely cared about their fans. They showed me that fan interaction even on their immense scale can still be personal and thoughtful. Their fans really know who they are and they know who their fans are.

Sure, they knew how handsome they were and how to keep up with all the other social media stars in Los Angeles who made girls' hearts throb. That isn't all they are, though. They are also just two twins from New Jersey who love to hike and take in the view. Ethan loves to skateboard and Grayson loves to surf. There are little things each of them does that makes them who they are, just like everyone else. I think that's beautiful.

Our final day, I woke up early to make everyone breakfast as a thank you for such a great weekend. As I made waffles, I could hear birds chirping outside the window and the light morning breeze rustling through the trees. It was so peaceful, I was almost dreading the incessant noise back in LA. Lisa and Sean woke up and came to the kitchen once they smelled cooking. They offered to help, but I made them sit at the table and enjoy their coffee as I finished cooking.

"Viola, we're really glad you came to visit us." Lisa said. I smiled wide.

"It's been so wonderful being here this weekend. You live in a beautiful place and I am grateful I grateful I got to meet you. You've been so kind to me. Thank you." I said, starting a new waffle as I spoke.

"Oh, you've been wonderful to have around." Sean told me. "And I have to thank you for taking care of Ethan and Grayson. Los Angeles is a big place, and I think you make it feel a little smaller. You keep them focused on what is important and remind them why they are there. And you treat their fans so well. They have told me how much that means to them." For some reason, Sean's words made my eyes well with tears.

"I do my best to help them along, but the truth is that they're the ones that saved me. Both of them, but especially Ethan. I don't know if they told you this, but I met them at the beach." I thought back to the sunset colors that night and tried not to choke up. "I wasn't in a good place. My best friend had been killed that day in an accident. I was sitting in the waves, watching the sunset on my own. Grayson was walking by and saw how upset I was. He didn't know me at all, but still immediately asked if I was okay and gave me a hug. Ethan did the same." I collected my thoughts before I went off track.

"You raised two of the kindest people I have ever met. So many people let followers, school, and everyday worries get to them and change them. Ethan and Grayson never lost who they were. I just want to let you know that. I love Ethan but we're young. I can't say for sure what will happen in the future. But I can confidently say that I will never forget what he and Gray did for me that night. I will always admire them for that."I said, now facing Lisa and Sean. The tears had escaped a little, and Lisa came over to hug me.

I wiped my tears and finished cooking before I burned anything. Ethan and Grayson walked in right after my speech. I was pretty sure they had heard everything, but I didn't mind. It was all true. Ethan kissed me good morning, then we all sat down for breakfast. I was happy. After, Ethan asked if I would go for a walk with him. I agreed and grabbed my coat. It was a little cold, but it was another beautiful day in New Jersey.

"I love you, Vi. I am so happy you got to come here with me." I smiled at him.

"Me too." I said. There was an odd tension coming from Ethan, though. I imagined he was anxious about being back in LA. "You okay, E?" I asked. He looked away from me and sniffed.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay Vi." He stopped there. We walked in silence for a while. I knew there was more, but I didn't ask. He would say it when he was ready. It wasn't until we reached a little clearing with a bench at the end of the road that he finally spoke.

"Vi, Grayson and I belong here. Los Angeles is amazing, but it drains us every day we spend there. Luckily, we can fly there whenever we want, but we are tired. We're tired of the crowds and seeing more buildings than trees. We're tired of the noise and the drama. We didn't plan on leaving so soon, but we need to. Coming back has made me realize that." I took a deep breathe. I knew where this was going. My heart was breaking already. I held his hand tighter.

"We are gonna go back to LA and figure out all of our stuff, but Grayson and I agree that we need to be here. We can build a new warehouse. But we can't get back our enthusiasm if we are in a place we dislike. We aren't gonna move right away, but as soon as we can." I sniffled. Everything came crashing down whenever I thought it was starting to go right. Michael and now this.

"I was thinking though- you seem to fit here. As far as I can tell, you love it and it feels right. Maybe you could take online classes or go to college nearby. My parents know a few little cabins I think you would really like." _He wanted me to move here? Now?_ I was silent for a few minutes, but I already knew my answer. I loved Ethan and New Jersey. Perhaps even someday, I would move here to be with him, but I had spent my whole life doing whatever I could to get into UCLA. It was my dream and I had only just begun. Would I feel fulfilled if I gave that up now? I would love to be near to Ethan and Grayson, but they could move here and keep their dream. I couldn't.

"I can't. This place is beautiful. And I am not ready to give up what we have. This is the happiest I have ever been. But I have dreamed of UCLA my whole life. You and Grayson already have your dream. I think I need to follow mine." I started to cry again. "I'm sorry, Ethan." I said. He gave me a half smile and just pulled me close. It was strange how everyone knows that heartbreak doesn't literally affect your heart at all and yet it still burns when you feel it breaking.

-Back in LA, one month later-

Ethan leaves this afternoon. I have been dreading this moment since we got back. I have tried to enjoy my time with him while I can, but his move has been in the back of our minds. I still wonder if it's too late to change our minds. I could ask him to stay, but that would be selfish. Or I could go with him, but that would be giving up on what I believe in.

I practiced a lot for that singing part I was offered a few months ago. It is really coming along and I think it might actually make it big. The whole gig was bigger and more serious than I originally thought. In fact, singing might become a full time hobby of mine. Ethan was really proud when he heard the demo. I ended up with an even larger part than just the background and actually got to really show off my voice in a couple parts of the song.

Ethan and Grayson took what they could re-use from the warehouse and had it shipped to New Jersey to create a new space. They kept their apartment for when they were in town for events. I was sad, of course, but I knew I would see them. Ethan and I decided not to break up for now and just see how it goes. I didn't have a lot of hope that it would work, but there was no saying we couldn't get back together once I was done with college and their lives settled down a little bit.

I didn't want to go to the airport with Ethan. I had done enough crying in public lately and I was sure there would be fans waiting for them there. There didn't need to be pictures of me crying online. Besides, maybe the fans wouldn't tweet me as much if I didn't go. Ethan understood when I told him that. Instead, we got pizza for lunch and said good bye then. It was easier that way. That evening, I couldn't focus on homework after the days events, so I pulled out my coat and started down the road. It was much colder now. The beach sand didn't retain it's warmth like it did during the summer months, so I kept my shoes on as I walked toward the surf.

The sunset wasn't as vibrant as before, but there was beauty in its subtle ombre. I didn't cry this time. I wasn't sad, I was happy. There was an aching in my heart, but I knew what was happening was for the best. It was all ending like our story began. There was only one thing missing. I might have been crazy since I was already shivering, but I took off my boots and socks and stepped into the frigid waves. It was no worse than the Alaskan waves.

I took a deep breath. There was a peace in my heart this time that told me everything would be okay. I closed my eyes for a moment and thought back on all my memories with Ethan. Something falling on my face jolted my eyes open, though. I touched my cheek. _A raindrop. Thank you for everything._ It couldn't be a coincidence that it came again. It only seemed right that it began to pour. Even the heavens knew what these past few months have meant to me and how I have grown.

I turned to go after I was soaked to the bone and saw a figure walking toward me. I wasn't afraid, though. I knew exactly who it was. I just smiled and waited. _Ethan._

"I had to see you one more time." He said, taking me in his arms. I felt pure joy like I had never experienced. Nothing made me more proud than being his in that moment. For one more, perfect, indescribable moment I was his and nothing would separate us. Every raindrop fell precisely for us in this moment and nobody would ever convince me otherwise. I took in his prominent jaw line, warm brown eyes, dripping wet brown hair and every inch of him in the darkness. I didn't want to remember him in a perfect suit or on the couch in his sweatpants. I wanted to remember him like this, freezing cold and completely mine.

For a moment, and only a moment, there was no social media. He had no fans, no warehouse, no longing for home and no worries. I had no schoolwork or job and home was only a bike ride away. It was just us. It didn't matter what happened in the future or in the past. The rain would always remind me of him. I kissed him one more time. I knew if I kissed him more, I would change my mind. Then I walked away. I only looked back once, and he was turned toward the sunset, watching the final colors fade away.

It didn't feel like the end. After all, the sun may have been setting but it would rise again in the morning. No, it wasn't the end. It was just the beginning.


End file.
